Paradigm Shift

Broken

[Two weeks later]

* * *
Jasmine

A bitter taste settled in my mouth as a surge of intense negative emotion overtook me. It felt like a combination of grief, sadness and anger. It was so all-encompassing that it even outweighed my thirst for blood. The Newborn Adjustment Programme was underway but I hadn't actually taken part because of how I was feeling. Dr. Nyle had tried to encourage me to leave my room but I wasn't interested. I was miserable, my chest felt tight and I felt nauseous all the time. I was quite content to stay in my room and let the programme continue without me. On the first day of third week I received a visit from Dr. Zen. He was an extremely busy man and I hadn't seen him since my transformation. 

Just like Dr. Nyle, he was ridiculously calm as he stood beside my bed 

"Good morning Jasmine" he greeted with a smile. "I have been informed that you are refusing to take part in the Newborn Adjustment Programme"

"That's right" I confirmed. "I'm surprised you weren't told earlier"

"Can I ask why you do not wan't to take part?" Dr. Zen asked.

My head ached, and I felt exhausted despite laying in bed for several days. "I've already told Dr. Nyle. Don't you talk to each other in this place?" 

Either Dr. Zen ignored my attitude, or it didn't bother him. ''I believe I know the reason for your discomfort." 

I stared at him as I waited for him to tell me what was wrong. He picked up my notes and read over the information before writing something down 

"On the day of your visitation, Mr. Ambrose asked me about blood bonds and what it involved breaking one.''

''Why would he do that?'' I asked

"I can not speak on his behalf. However, based on your symptoms, I believe he is attempting to break your bond." 

''Why didn't you try to discourage him?'' I asked as another wave of anger washed over me

''I warned him that attempting to break a blood bond would cause extreme discomfort to both the giver and the recipient" Dr. Zen replied ''However it seems he did not heed my warning'' 

"Great'' I answered. ''So I'm stuck feeling like this?" 

"Your discomfort will improve with time" Dr. Zen explained "But you can not allow this setback to impact your future. You must make the most of the opportunity we have given you and take part in the Newborn Adjustment Programme"

I wasn't sure if Dr. Zen had a power, but there was something about him that made me want to do exactly what he said. 

"You can be an excellent vampire but you can not do that without the help we can provide" Dr. Zen continued. "You are capable of great things Jasmine, as long as you try"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I dragged myself out of bed and glimpsed my reflection on my way out of the bathroom. My skin was sallow, purple bruise like circles had formed under my eyes. My lips were so pale they appeared to be white, my cheeks were sunken and my features had an overall gaunt look to them. After my conversation with Dr. Zen, I took part in the programme, but it took an enormous amount of effort. My body felt twice as heavy as it actually was. Every one of my limbs ached, and I still had no interest in drinking blood. The concerned looks that Dr. Nyle gave me during the blood management classes didn't go unnoticed by me and, predictably, he came to check on me after the class. 

"I'm glad you changed your mind and took part in NAP" He voiced as he sat in the chair beside my bed 

"Why do I sense a but coming?" I asked.

"Because I hear you are still refusing to drink blood." 

"So?" I replied

Dr. Nyle sighed "Can I ask why?" 

I shrugged "I just don't want it"

"If you do not provide your body with sufficient blood intake, it can slip into suppression" Dr. Nyle explained. "I suspect that yours already has, and that is why you are not craving blood"

"I'm hungry. Actually, I'm starving" I explained. "I'm just not thirsty, especially not for blood."

Dr. Nyle looked at me for a moment. "I know how it feels to lose someone you are close to. They take a part of you with them"

"Yeah...well, you should know that I want to be left alone then. " I climbed back into bed. "I'm tired, so if you don't mind..."

"I can't let you do that" Dr. Nyle argued. "Solitude will not solve your problem"

I glared at him. "Do you ever take a day off from analysing people?" 

"It is my job" Dr. Nyle replied. "How would you feel about a change of scenery?" 

"What?"

"I believe I know how to get you back on track, and it involves leaving the hospital for a few hours." 

Dr. Nyle's word caught me off guard. Just the thought of leaving the hospital seemed ridiculous to me. "I can't leave!!" 

"You are not a prisoner here, Jasmine. You can leave whenever you please'' 

"But...what if I attack someone?" I asked "I might lose control"

Dr. Nyle smiled "You won't"

"How do you know!?"

"Humour me?. I would like to test a theory on you." 

Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting at a table outside a cafe and Dr. Nyle had ordered the largest thing on the menu for me.

"Do you feel like you imaged you would?" Dr. Nyle asked.

I shook my head. "I feel nothing. No thirst, no heightened senses. I feel...normal"

Dr. Nyle nodded "I thought so" 

The waitress returned to our table to ask if we wanted any drinks, but I suspected she used that as an excuse to talk to Dr. Nyle. His vampire appeal was out in full force. He affected every single woman who passed, and he was oblivious to it or he didn't care.

"So, what's your theory?" I asked once the waitress left.

"I have two" Dr. Nyle asked. "One is that you are in the process of suppression, which I now know is correct..." 

"And the second?" I asked.

My food arrived, and I found my mouth watering with anticipation 

"The second I am still observing." 

I tucked into the food and soon realised it was exactly what I needed. Slowly, slowly enough that I barely realised it, I was feeling better. The distraction, the change of scenery, the chance to feel normal again. It was all coming together and putting everything into perspective. I finished the food and rubbed my stomach as I enjoyed the feeling of being well fed. 

"Do you want a dessert?" Dr. Nyle asked 

I picked up the menu and decided on a slice of chocolate fudge cake, and Dr. Nyle pushed his glass of water towards me.

I looked up at him as I drank from it. "You didn't do all this out of the kindness of your heart, did you?" 

Dr. Nyle looked extremely pleased with himself. "I am simply treating a patient." 

"You've experienced a case like mine before, haven't you?" I asked.

"Actually, I have not" Dr. Nyle replied. "Like I said before, I know how it feels to lose someone you are close to." 

"I forget sometimes that you and Dr. Zen were human once" I admitted 

"Human instinct is one thing a vampire can never lose. Human traits, wants, needs and emotions will always be there in our muscle memory" Dr. Nyle explained 

My dessert arrived, and I realised I had missed the chocolate.

I looked at Dr. Nyle as I took a bite. "Is it too late for me to reverse my suppression?"