Paradigm Shift

Torn

* * *
Jasmine

'A vampire's blood no longer carries those special chemicals that the brain creates to speed up the heart, give humans that warm and fuzzy feeling, dilate the pupils and many other subconscious reactions to outside stimuli humans are barely aware of.'

I was reminded of my conversation with Dr. Nyle at the café as I read. Even though my body didn't contain the chemicals to feel love anymore, I could still experience it because my body remembered how to. It was comforting to know that I wouldn't become an emotionless shadow of my former self. I still loved Dean, even though he didn't deserve it. He had caused me so much pain and discomfort and I was angry with him, but I couldn't find it in myself to hate him. I had gotten back on track, been the model student, completed the programme and the symptoms of my broken bond had eased somewhat, but the never ending pull from an invisible rope was still making my life more difficult. I placed the book into my suitcase and zipped it up. I moved towards the window as I waited for Roman and Seth to arrive. They were on their way to the hospital to pick me up and I should have been excited, knowing that Dean and I could finally be together, but now that wasn't an option anymore and I just felt numb. The door to my room opened, and I watched in the window's reflection as Dr. Nyle made his way into the room. 

"Before you leave, I wanted to give you my contact details." 

I turned around and took the small piece of paper Dr. Nyle was handing me. "I already have the hospital's contact details." 

"This is my personal number. If you have any questions or concerns, call me." 

I folded the piece of paper and slid it into my jeans pocket. "Could you apologise to everyone for me? For being so difficult" 

"If you want me too, I will." Dr. Nyle agreed. "but you are not the most difficult patient we have ever dealt with, far from it. " 

"Was one of them Seth, by any chance?" I laughed, and Dr. Nyle laughed with me.

"He was a patient...briefly" Dr. Nyle replied "and he was...challenging" 

I could hear Roman and Seth's voices as they approached my room, and I picked up my suitcase and walked towards the door, opening it to greet them. I may not have had Dean's power, but I could instantly identify the awkwardness in the air. Dean was supposed to be with them and his absence was felt both physically and emotionally.

Roman reached for the handle of my suitcase. "Are you ready to get out of here?" 

"Ready as I'll ever be" I replied as we made our way out of the hospital 

As we stepped into the elevator, Seth began to complain about the lack of his favourite flavoured gummies in the vending machine and I was lost in my own thoughts as we descended to the ground floor. Where was Dean? Did he know about me getting out of the hospital today? Did he even care? Did he ever care about me? Did he ever love me? I kept my eyes lowered as I walked towards Roman's car. I didn't want Roman or Seth to make eye contact with me and hear my thoughts. Most of the car journey was silent and if they asked me anything, I didn't notice. As the car pulled into the driveway of their house, my eyes scanned the front of the house for any sign of Dean but even with my improved vision I couldn't see anything, I couldn't smell him either, in fact it was like he had never been here at all. I made my way into the living room and sat on the sofa. Roman said something to me, but I didn't hear him.

"What?" I asked as shook myself out of the daze I was in.

Roman sat down opposite me. "Are you thirsty?" 

"No" I answered 

"You're not a vegetarian, are you?" Seth asked as he made his way into the room with a drink container in his hand.