Paradigm Shift

The C-word

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Jasmine

Why is it that when life is good, I feel like something bad is going to happen?. Well...in my case it's because it usually does. Dean and I's relationship had been improving and I was finally getting to know the real him. The flirty, funny, sexy Dean. We hadn't had full sex yet but we'd messed around and had 'inprovised' a few times. I was happy with where our relationship was heading and although Seth had tried to get all the dirty details from me, I'd refused to tell him anything. WWE fans had instantly hated Chad and my character, which was what we wanted, as heels and the bosses were lining him up for a title win, but my health was getting worse. More specifically, my migraines were getting worse and alongside them I had other symptoms too. I was persistently feeling nauseous, my eyesight was getting worse and sometimes I was so tired I could hardly stand up. This had all been made worse by a hectic schedule of pre-recording shows. In the past week, I had performed enough backstage segments for a month's worth of footage and I'd struggled through multiple costume changes, hairstyles, makeup looks and 'live shows' until it was all filmed and I finally had some time to myself. I'd been putting off going to see a doctor because I had put everything into my work, but my health was getting so bad that even Roman's healing did nothing to help me. I knew my body and I could tell something was seriously wrong, but I was scared. Scared of what it could be, scared of losing my spot in NXT so, for now, I was delaying seeing a doctor.

As the month drew to an end, I was called into WWE HQ for a meeting with Stephanie McMahon, but I wasn't told why I was there. As I waited to be called in, I was so nervous I was actually shaking. I felt lightheaded when I stood up to make my way into her office.

"It is nice to see you Jasmine" Stephanie greeted as she shook my hand. "Thank you for coming in so quickly"

"Why was I asked here?" I questioned as I took a seat in front of her desk.

"Well, as you know, WWE carry out random blood tests on all of their talent as part of our wellness policy" Stephanie explained "and we asked you in today because we have some concerns about your test results"

I frowned. "Concerns?"

"Your hormone levels are unusually high and naturally we are concerned about the potential use of banned supplements." 

"Well, I assure you I haven't taken anything" I said honestly

Stephanie nodded. "I'd like you to get some tests done with our medical team as soon as possible. Just as a precaution. We'd like to be sure that nothing untoward is happening"

I agreed, but was reluctant to get more tests done. They would no doubt result in something showing up, and I wasn't ready to find out what was wrong with me yet. I wanted to remain blissfully unaware and continue being happy. So much so that I hadn't told Dean about the tests. Roman and Seth didn't know either. If Dean knew, he'd want to come with me when I had the tests done, and I didn't want him to worry. He had enough to deal with. They all did. They gave me a full health screening. They carried every type of test out on me and I had to wait two weeks until I was yet again called into Stephanie's office.

Stephanie looked somber as she greeted me, and that only made me more nervous than I already was. I took a seat and Stephanie got my file up on her laptop. She turned the screen around for me to look at, but I wasn't sure what to focus on.

"Your test results have come back and I'm afraid it's not good news" Stephanie said 

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The results show cancerous tissue in your brain" Stephanie explained 

My stomach dropped. Cancer! I had cancer!! 

"The tumor is aggressive and needs immediate treatment before it spreads any further" Stephanie continued. "I am putting you on indefinite medical leave"

I began to cry. "But what about my storyline?"

Stephanie reached across the table and picked up a tissue box, offering it to me. "You have recorded enough footage for us to use for the next few weeks and we will come up with an angle to explain your absence after that. I know you are passionate about your job, Jasmine, but our main priority is your health. We can not allow you to continue working in the condition you're currently in."

I nodded "I understand"

Stephanie stood up and opened the door for me. "Please get your physician to contact us as soon as your treatment starts." 

"I will" I promised

After I left, I spent a few days in limbo. I was overwhelmed, angry, sad, and anxious. All I could think about was the tumor in my brain. How long had it been there? Was it going to kill me? Was it my fault? Should I have got help with my migraines sooner? If I had, could this have been avoided?. If I beat this, would I ever be the same again? What if the tumor had done some damage to my brain? Maybe it was already damaged beyond repair?. Should I tell Dean?. If I did, would he still want to be with me? Would he still desire me if I lost my hair? Would I smell different to him, worse?. If I told Seth, would he be able to see my future? What if he could and it was bad!?. Should I tell Roman?. He had been through this himself. He could advise me, but no...It wouldn't be fair to him...