ODIO AMOR

BEY-DARDI

"They loved you?", Dr.Damle asked her for re-confirmation while looking at Adhavan with confusion

"They said they loved me. But they never showed me the love that I wanted to see" Abhidnya leaned back on the chair and rocked herself on the arm chair and continued, "Cooking good food is love for them while eating together is love for me. They stopped eating with me. Providing education is not love but listening to my academic disadvantages and encouraging the progress is. Giving expensive dress is their love but they never lovingly adored me in the same dress. They with their love gave me a comfortable shelter to live but their love couldn't give me comfort. When I fell sick, qualified doctors came to check my health but my parents didn't spare me time from their schedule. But they said they love me"

Adhavan and Dr.Damle didn't utter a single word to break her trance. She was putting out her memories through her words along with tears.

"I know that there are many on streets who deserve a life like mine but I pray God not to give them a life like mine", Abhidnya said

"Why would you say so?", Dr. Damle calmly asked her

"Because love is beyond luxuries. Comfort is beyond expensive comfiness. I longed for their attention which was never destined to be mine"

Dr. Damle scribbled something quickly and asked, "Abhidnya, by any chance did they harm you ever?"

Abhidnya nodded her head negatively, "no.....they never harmed me. They just punished me, to discipline me"

"Are you comfortable to share your punishments with us? If not we can skip this", Dr. Damle assured her that she won't be pressurized

Abhidnya touched her shoulder and said, "bapu sa got mad at me when I refused to oblige him. When I refused to get married to Abadhya, he got pissed at me and threw the cigarette at me.
He would house arrest me in my room. I was not allowed to meet anyone, talk with anyone.
Forbidden to dance, eat junk, wear some specific jewelleries, behave with etiquettes, must be shy and timid, must look beautiful by apperance all the time, must be appealing......
Maa sa, would not talk to me for days if i refused to obey her commands. She won't even look at me, even if i plead infront of her.
She would say I look ugly and I am an unlucky bitch when she would be mad at me but she would call me princess when she is happy with my deeds" Abhidnya said with a smile. Her smile and twinkle in the eyes were evidence of her inner child who got excited even remembering the moment when she got applauded by her mother

"Do you hate them Abhidnya?"

"No, i honestly don't", Abhidnya blinked her eyes and then continued, "Atleast I am alive. Atleast I had someone to call as my biological parents. Atleast I wasn't an orphan. Atleast I had my family", Abhidnya put forward her thoughts with an exhaustive sigh.

"Was the behaviour of your parents same since your childhood?", Dr.Damle asked while scrutinizing Abhidnya's behaviour with calculative gaze.

"Bachpan mein sab thik tha par achanak se sab kese ho gaya, kya ho gaya mujhe nhi pata mujhe kuchh nhi pata.....meine kuch nhi kiya.....meine kisiko kuch nhi kaha......mein nhi janti kuch", Abhidnya started sobbing while clutching her head tightly. Her eyebrows furrowed deeply. She started sweating profusely.

Her sobbing turned into a shrill cry, "mein gandi nhi hun....mein buri nhi hun....mein achi hun....mein aur achi banungi....mein sari baat mangungi....mein aahhhhhhh!!" She chocked her her cry in her throat which brought a hurdle in her breathing process

Adhavan quickly held her in his arms while slapping her face lightly, trying to bring her back into senses. Dr. Damle without wasting any further time, injected her with midazolam drug to calm her anxiety.