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" When a person's speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply." ~Thích Nhất Hạnh * * * * * *
I wake to Dally's arm holding me tightly. I stare at the side of his face, he looks peaceful. His features, normally tense and guarded, have relaxed into a gentle softness. His eyelids, usually narrowed in scrutiny, now lie still and closed, their lashes casting a subtle shadow on his cheeks. His eyebrows, often furrowed in hatred for the world, have smoothed out, giving his face an untroubled appearance.His lips, normally pressed into a firm line, have parted slightly, allowing a gentle whisper of a snore to escape. His nose, straight and strong, rises and falls with each quiet breath. His eyes flutter open, like he can feel my presence, I don't hide my staring. The corners of his mouth turns upwards into a smile, and I can't help but to do the same.
The silence is shattered by a knock at the door, a harsh reminder that our moment of intimacy is fleeting. Dally's responsibilities are calling, and they won't be ignored. I feel a familiar sense of disappointment wash over me as I realize our good morning has come to an end before we could have even said 'good morning'. I frown, knowing that his 'job' will always come between us, tearing us apart. "Come back tonight," Dally whispers, his voice low as the unwelcome visitor at the door continues to linger. I shake my head, "Time, Dally." Dallys face drops, but he doesn't protest. Another knock on the door almost sends Dally straight through it, "COMIN." He yells throwing himself out of bed. I watch as he pulls a shirt from his dresser and over his body, before he could get his jeans up a third knock is heard. Dally quickly makes his way to the door and swings the door open, about to give whoever the hell keeps knocking a piece of his mind, but when the door opens, Dally stops. Sylvia peaks her head in the room, spotting me in the bed. I pull the blankets off of me and stand up slowly.
She glares at me with a blazing fury, her arms crossed and her eyes flashing with indignation as she rakes us both with a scathing gaze. "You're already tangled up with some TRASH, just 48 hours after we split?" she snarls, her voice venomous and her words dripping with disgust. I feel a pang of guilt, knowing I've contributed to her pain. But Dally just shrugs, his nonchalant attitude infuriating her further. "Told ya we were done," he says, his tone callous and uncaring, dismissing her very existence.
"'You're ending our engagement for...this?" She sneers, her eyes raking over me with disdain, as she takes a step closer, her presence invading the space. Dally's arm shoots out, blocking her approach, "This...trash?" She pauses, a calculating glint in her eye, "I remember you now...from the other night...you're willin to sell yourself so cheaply?" Her brow arches in mock surprise, "You have to slum it with what's mine?" I can't help but burst out laughing, a deep, throaty sound that startles even me. Dally's stare is incredulous, as if I've lost my mind. "Worthless. Trash."
She spits at me, and I lose every bit of control that's left in me. I charge past Dally and make contact with her. She falls from impact and I'm on top of her, my fists pounding into her face, each cry is an invitation to keep going. I feel Dallys hands on my waist trying to pull me off, but I wrap my legs around hers to keep me attatched. She tries to hold her hands up in defense but it's useless, all I see is red. I'm not sure why I'm so mad, it's not her words that hurt me, in fact, I didn't even care, it's everything, every bit of pint up anger I've bottled inside of me being unleashed on Sylvia's face. I want to stop, but I can't, not until I feel the aggression wear off. But it's not, and each hit, each cry from Sylvia, each demand from Dally just fuels me more. It's not until I see Buck running up the stairs that I stop. He pulls her from beneath me, "Fuck you!" She cries, I just stand there and catch my breath. The sight of my bloody hands and Sylvias face should've made me feel bad, but it doesn't. In fact, I feel numb, like every emotion has been drained from me.
