CHAPTER 6
Author's POV :
As the night grew darker , Shivika sat by the window , lost in her thoughts , the events of the day replayed in her mind while her favorite song played softly at the background melodiously.
टूट ना जाएँ सपने, मैं डरता हूँ
निस-दिन सपनों में देखा करता हूँ
टूट ना जाएँ सपने, मैं डरता हूँ
नैना कजरारे
मतवारे ये इशारे
ख़ाली दर्पन था ये मन मेरा
रच गया रूप इसमें तेरा
कोरा काग़ज़ था ये मन मेरा
लिख लिया नाम इस पे तेरा........
Her thoughts drifted to Rudra , recalling his sincerity and thoughtfulness. She closed her eyes , letting the music wash over her.
बाग़ों में फूलों के खिलने से पहले
तेरे-मेरे नैनों के मिलने से पहले
हाँ, बाग़ों में फूलों के खिलने से पहले
तेरे-मेरे नैनों के मिलने से पहले
कहाँ थीं ये बातें
मुलाक़ातें, ऐसी रातें
टूटा तारा था ये मन मेरा
बन गया चाँद होके तेरा
कोरा काग़ज़ था ये मन मेरा
लिख लिया नाम इस पे तेरा.......
She opened her eyes , she smiled softly continuing feeling the song's lyrics looking at the moon.
Despite the forced nature of their marriage , she couldn't deny that she liked Rudra. She felt a budding connection with Rudra - not overwhelming affection , but a subtle , undeniable pull towards him.
"I didn't choose this" , she reminded herself , a knot of frustration tightening her chest.
She closed her eyes again fighting with her mind , because even if she likes Rudra , she just can't forget that her family forced her into this.
" hey Shivji , Bhabhi kehti hain , positive raho , lekin aisi situation me mai positive rahu kaise? , I agree ki Rudra Achhe insan hai , lekin ek mulakat se mai unhe apna jeevansathi kaise maan lu? , mere bhi kuchh ichhayain hai , unka kya??" ("God , Bhabhi says to stay positive , but how can I be positive in such a situation? I agree that Rudra is a good person , but how can I consider him my life partner after just one meeting? I also have some wishes , what about them") , She said as she looked at the idol of Shivji in her room.
"bas ab aap ke bharoshe hu bholenath , mai iss rishte ko nibhana chahti hu. Mai apne karan Rudra ka jeevan barbaad nhi karna chahti , aapke bharoshe is rishte ko aapna rahi hu , bas aap mere sath rehna har samay , aur kuchh nahi chahiye" , (" I am now relying on you , God. I don't want to ruin Rudra's life because of me. I am accepting this relationship , trusting on you. Just be with me , all the time , and I don't need anything else from you") , She prayed closing her eyes and joining both hands together.
Slowly opening her eyes , she once again looked at Shivji and went to sleep.
As she laid on the bed and started thinking in her mind
"But would I be able to sustain this relationship? , she wondered , biting her lip. "Or am I just convincing myself" , she thought.
"I think I should sleep or else I'll wake up late and Amma , she would explode like a volcano. No don't think about her Shivi , Sleep......Shivi , concentrate on your precious sleep" , She muttered under her breath and covered herself with blanket then drifted to sleep.
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