Ich Liebe Dich, Lena ~ pt 3

☆ Five ☆

Mirabella was still asleep pretty late the next morning which meant we had a bit of time to plan her fourth birthday. We were in a slight situation because it was also going to be the Monaco Grand Prix on her birthday but it was decently early in the day so we had a bit of time after the race to go and do something.

"What should we do for her birthday?" Lando asked me.

"Well... she has said a lot about karting" I said.

"No. Absolutely not"

"But Lan-"

"She's not going karting. End of story."

"It's what she wants, Lan"

"It's too dangerous!!! This is our little girl we're talking about!!!"

"Do you think your mum was particularly happy when she found out that her son was in love with one of the most dangerous sports in the world? I'm gonna guess no, but she let you do it anyway because it made you happy and it's what you wanted to do"

"I'm just scared for her... you've seen what I've been through. The amount of times I've ended up in hospital, the training, the missed birthdays, the mental toll, how could you still say that you want her to do something like that?"

"But if you look back, do you regret anything, Lan?" I said which he replied to by shaking his head. "Her going karting won't say that she'll become an F1 Driver, Lan. She just grew up watching her daddy do it and wants to give it a try. It's not going to be the worst thing in the world if we let her do it. It's not like we're putting her in an F1 car" I added. Lando pushed his head into my neck and mumbled

"Our little girl is growing up, isn't she...?"

"Yeah, she is..."

"I'll bring you a sick bucket"

"Yeah... I'm gonna need it..."

A week later me, Mirabella & Daxie went to watch Lando race. He got on the podium again. He was actually doing so good. He did his interviews and then we went to the closest karting track. We already gave Mirabella a helmet that morning as a present and off she went in her LN kart which was another present we got her. Lando taught her the basics and off she went. It was just her on the track so she didn't have to avoid other people. Lando had his sunglasses on and I could see the tears forming in his eyes. I took off his sunglasses and turned his head to me and his tears were falling down his face.

"you're scared she's gonna crash, aren't you?" I said.

"I... just don't want to see her get hurt, that's all" he said.

"She'll be fine. She's your child so she's basically invincible" I said. Mirabella hit a curb a little bit after that and Lando literally threw up in the sick bucket. I had to look away because I cannot deal with vomit at all but I was patting his back. "yep... get it all out..." I said. "Now you know how I feel when you're racing. you're getting scared of her slightly hitting a curb at 10mph. I'm having to watch you slight hit a wall at 200mph"

"I get it, I get it. But it's different for me. Every time I race, I know the risks. She's just a kid"

"a kid doing what she's enjoying"

"Yeah, you're right. She's just a kid, and kids should be able to enjoy themselves without having to worry about getting hurt. But at the same time..."

"you're just scared she's gonna get hurt and you're scared she's getting older, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But it's more than that... it's just... seeing her out there, racing around like she's invincible... It scares me because she's our little girl"

"but she's strong. Remember, she was a preemie baby. she pulled through the first month and here she is on her 4th birthday"

"I know she's strong, Lena. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch her race. It's a strange mix of pride, fear, and love swirling inside me every time she takes the wheel"

"I know. but she's loving it and she's only scraped 1 wall and bumped on one curb"

"I guess..."

"she's having fun and that's all that matters"

"You're right. I'm just going to have to trust her instincts and let her enjoy herself"

"but just know you are being a good dad by being scared for her. it shows that you're protective"

"Well, I hope so. But you know, Lena, there's always that fine line between protecting and stifling their growth. I just have to learn when to step back and let her spread her wings"

"exactly. as much as we don't want her to grow up; we can't stop her"

Mirabella finished after about an hour and she went straight to cuddle Lando

"Good job, baby girl!" Lando said while cuddling her back. He took off her helmet and kissed her forehead. Mirabella came over to me and cuddled me after that.

"You did so well, Mira. I can already see you being a racer just like daddy" I said.

"I love you both so much" Lando said. I opened my other arm as a signal for him to join in with the cuddle.

"Come here, Lan" I said. We just sat there cuddling for ages. We went back home after that and ate tons of cake. Mirabella went to bed at about 8pm. She was so tired and I honestly didn't blame her. She had a very busy day but her going to sleep early meant that me & Lando could have a bit of alone time if you know what I mean.