Ich Liebe Dich, Lena ~ pt 3

☆ Thirteen ☆

A week later we went to the Spanish Grand Prix. (Imagine it's still in Barcelona) Mirabella was with Charles, Esteban, Pierre & Théo learning some French but I couldn't find Lando anywhere. I eventually found him behind the McLaren hospitality. Smoking.

"Lando...? Is that what I think it is...?" I said. Lando put it out almost instantly and looked at me. He couldn't lie. He immediately cuddled into me and started rambling.

"Lena...I'm so sorry...this...this is just...too much. I don't know if I can do it. The fans, the pressure, the stakes...I just...I need to step back for a while. I can't handle it"

"Lan, breathe. I know it's stressful but you've gotta pull yourself together. You can't go on another break... maybe this season should be your last season... I can't bear to see you stressed like this. You've never been scared to get in an F1 car until we had Mira. You're scared that you're going to get in an accident and you'll scare me and Mira, right?"

"It's not just that, Lena. It's everything. The expectations, the pressure...it's all too much. I can't handle it anymore. I need a break"

"you've never been scared about the expectations since your debut year... I know you don't want to retire from F1 but I think you might have to... you're not how you were and you've had a good 10 years"

"Lena, The truth is, I've been feeling this way for a while now. The thrill of racing isn't what it used to be; it's become more about survival than enjoyment"

"Do you think that it's maybe time to retire...?"

"Thing is that I don't want to give it up entirely. I don't wanna completely retire but I don't know how much longer I can do this"

"maybe just take a year off. Spend the year with me & Mira and then see if you're willing to go back after that. The only thing with that is you might not be guaranteed a seat on the grid after that year is up..."

"I know, and I've thought about it too. But retiring completely is not an option for me. I've lived my life in the fast lane, and I don't know any other way. Maybe taking a break from F1 would be good for me"

"Just keep going for this season and then we'll figure out what to do after. Just keep going, Lan."

"Alright, Lena. I'll give it my all this season and see where it takes us. Thank you for understanding and supporting me" he said before pulling me closer in the cuddle.

"I've always got your back. As much as I was like a crazy fan of you before we met, I didn't fall in love with you because you drive in F1. I fell in love with you because you're you"

"I'll never forget that, Lena. Thank you for reminding me of what truly matters in life. Together, we'll tackle whatever comes our way... even if it means stepping away from the track for a while"

"I'll support you in whatever decision you decide to make"

"Lena, thank you. Your love and support mean everything to me. Let's make the most of this season and enjoy our time together, no matter what the future holds"

"just enjoy racing. try to find that spark again"

"Okay, Lena. I will do my best to find that spark and enjoy the racing once again. Thank you for your support. I love you"

"I love you too, baby. Now give me one of those cigarettes. I desperately need one"

"Here you go, darling" he said as he pulled out the box of ready-made cigarettes from his pocket.

"You should hide those better. someone could easily find them" I said while lighting one for myself and another one for him.

"Well, I'd rather they know I have them and choose when to indulge rather than sneaking around. Plus, it's part of my charm, isn't it?"