Ich Liebe Dich, Lena ~ pt 3

☆ Sixteen ☆

We were at the Austrian GP and I honestly just felt depressed the whole time.

"have you ever thought about just running away and starting a new life...?" I asked

"Sometimes, I have, but this life, the racing, the people, they're all part of me. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. Besides, I have you by my side, and that's all that matters" he said

"what would you do if i successfully killed myself...?"

"Lena, I can't imagine a world without you. If something like that happened, it would be devastating"

"would it though...?"

"It would be, Lena. It would be. You're not just someone in my life; you're my heartbeat. Losing you would mean losing a part of myself. So, please, don't ever think about that again"

"kinda hard not to think about it when it's all that's on my mind..."

"We'll get through this together, love. Talk to me, Lena. Don't shut me out. And remember, we're a team"

"I just sometimes wish I wasn't here... I never feel like I'm deserving enough to have a life... I constantly feel like I'm doing something wrong and I can't cope... I even stopped taking my depression and anxiety meds because they weren't doing anything..."

"Lena, you are deserving of life, of love, of happiness. You're not doing anything wrong. Depression and anxiety can be powerful, but they can be managed. We'll find a way to get you the help you need"

"We've tried everything. meds & therapy. I'm just broken and unfixable..."

"Lena, nothing could be further from the truth. You're not broken, you're not unfixable. Sometimes, it takes time to find the right balance or the right approach. We'll keep searching together. And remember, I'm here for you, through thick and thin"

"I just feel like going into an eternal sleep..."

"Hey, hey, look at me" he said while turning my face to look at him. "There is no point in giving up. There is always hope. We'll find a way to help you through this, okay? You are not alone. You're with me, and I'm not going anywhere"

"I just constantly hate myself... I just wish I could jump in a pit and break all my bones"

"Lena, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people suffer from self-hatred and negative thoughts. But you need to know that these feelings are not reality. They are just thoughts that come and go. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are important"

"I'm really not..."

"Lena, look at me. I know you're going through a tough time right now, but please believe me when I say that you are loved and cherished. You bring so much joy and light into my life, and I can't imagine my world without you"

"I can... you'd be way happier without me..."

"Lena, sweetheart, you couldn't be more wrong. I've seen the darkness in your eyes, but I've also seen the brightness that you try so hard to hide"

"there's no brightness there"

"Yes, there is. And I'm going to help you find it. Together, we're going to fight these negative thoughts and find the happiness that you deserve. I promise" he said. He took Mirabella to his parents and he brought me a monster. The race was just about to start but I fell asleep from the monster. He probably didn't want me to do something stupid while he was in the car. I woke up in our hotel room a few hours later. Lando & Mirabella were both on the bed with me.

"How long was I asleep for...?" I asked

"You were asleep for a while. But don't worry, I took care of everything. You just needed the rest" he said.