Misery Loves Company

The Calm...

Nico couldn't remember the last time he'd stayed in one place for more than a week. Maybe the Underworld Palace, adapting to the sheer power that the servitude bond had imparted on him and training with the new mass of feathers at his back. Or Camp Half-Blood, after the war with Gaea when he'd mistakenly hoped the Fates would give him a rest or forget about him entirely.

Instead, Apollo became mortal, his best friend died and the place he had wanted to call home was still wary of him.

Two months passed by in New Rome, Hazel had gotten a cake to celebrate his ongoing presence. She had meant well, but with every bite of coffee-infused sponge, guilt settled deeper in his gut. He couldn't help but compare himself to Bianca - when things got tough, he'd left her.

He had promised himself he would be a better sibling to Hazel, and he'd failed.

Hazel didn't seem to hold it against him, perhaps being a daughter of Pluto, not Hades, she didn't share that fatal flaw. She acted as though every day with him was a Gods' given gift, happily dragging him around New Rome when she escaped her Praetor duties.

It was nice, Nico decided, to indulge in her easy company and never-satiated sweet tooth that led them to many a bakery scattered throughout the city.

It was nice if he ignored the tense set of her shoulders after she returned from yet another senate meeting discussing the near daily monster attacks.

It was nice if he ignored the dark circles beneath her eyes from late nights talking battle strategies with Frank and their advisors.

It was nice until the border alarm tolled and reality crashed back into him. But Hazel assured him that she was okay, that New Rome and Camp Jupiter were prepared for a threat like this, that he wasn't a burden or a safety risk.

Hazel had never been a good liar. Still, selfishly, Nico let himself believe her.

Will had returned to classes and Nico to his duties with the Gods. He attended his meetings, completed his paperwork and when he returned to New Rome each time he pretended not to notice the surprise in Will's eyes. While Hazel soaked in every second of his company that she could, Will held Nico at arm's length. The son of Apollo watched him constantly from the corners of his eyes as though Nico would disappear if he was without his gaze.

Will was a worse liar than Hazel. In fact, Nico was fairly certain he was allergic to outright lying.

"I'll be back." Nico would promise every time his presence was demanded by Olympus.

"I know"

"I believe you"

"See you soon"

Whatever the variation, Will would always lie. His voice choked and breathless like his throat had constricted around the words. And no matter how many times Nico came and left, always returning to Will's side before the day was done, the lies remained.

"I'm home." Nico would say each time he appeared in the apartment they shared. It had taken half a dozen skeletal handymen to fix up the damage of their fight with the Arai, and a weekend's worth of furniture shopping to replace what was beyond repair.

"I didn't have any doubts." Lie.

"I knew you'd be home soon." Lie.

Nico tried not to take it personally, he knew he deserved it, he felt the guilt every day. He didn't know how to prove to Will he wasn't ever leaving him again, especially when the temptation writhed under his skin like a living thing.

Hazel kept him from defending the border, despite him being fully healed. She claimed they didn't need him, that it was too much of a risk to have him on the field. But he knew she was hiding the toll his presence was taking. He knew because Will worked extra hours at the hospital on days the borders were attacked. He knew because he could feel it every time a soldier came close to death.

He knew because the voice in his head screamed at him that he was selfish and a burden and worthless.

But Nico did not give in to the temptation, he did not listen to the voice that whispered to him to 'Run!'. He had made a promise, and Nico might be a liar and a manipulator and a monster but he never broke a promise.

So he stayed. He stayed one month, and when one month became two months, he still stayed. He built a routine for himself; walking the streets with Hazel, sparring and training with Percy and teaching Will basic swordsmanship.

Will had requested it after his near disastrous confrontation with the Arai, but he still seemed hesitant to engage in their lessons.

Even two months into their lessons, they stood in the local park, Nico glaring at Will who looked back with faux cluelessness.

"Will, you actually have to attack me, you know?"

The blonde just stared at the ground where the two of them had been splayed mere moments before. Nico had swept Will's feet out from under him, only to be pulled down too when Will grabbed his wrist with surprising agility and strength. Nico had ended up pressed on top of Will, the other demigod staring up at him with wide eyes and a blush rising to his cheeks.

Nico sighed, "Are you sure you don't want to go back to using a dagger?"

"No, I want to use a sword." Will snapped, though there was little force to the words. His tone sounded...nostalgic?

"Hey, you know you can talk to me, right?" Ugh, Nico was so not good at this whole feelings thing. But he hoped Will would understand the gesture all the same.

"Sorry," Will sighed, "I just...all this makes me think of during."

Nico didn't know what that meant but luckily Will continued, "We used to spar all the time, you were teaching me to use a dagger even though it wasn't your weapon of choice. But really those hours in the arena were an excuse to flirt...But then, I think about how I couldn't even look at a dagger once you left."

Nico flinched but remained silent.

"I can't stop thinking about it. About how I've felt all these feelings for you before - I've loved you before - and then you ran. And I miss the way things were, before all of this. Before I couldn't stop thinking that you'd disappear again. I miss us, and I hate that it feels like we're starting from scratch."

Nico sheathed his sword, stepping forward to take Will's hand in his.

"You're allowed to miss it, Will. The Gods know that I do." Nico said.

'It feels like we're starting from scratch' Nico wondered if that was such a bad thing. Maybe they were both too caught up in trying to be what they once were. But five years had passed, trust and hearts were broken and they weren't the same people they once were. Perhaps, they just needed to let go.

"Will you go out with me?" The son of Hades blurted. Will looked confused, justifiably so.

"Our second first-date." Nico explained, "I can't turn back time, but I can make the most of the time we have now. We made some pretty great memories back then, but I think we can make some better ones."

Will smiled, pulling him into a light kiss, "I always knew you were a romantic at heart."

"Is that a yes?"

Nico thought it was ridiculous how nervous he was waiting for Will's answer; Will was his soulmate, his other half, he wouldn't reject him.

"Yeah Nico, I'll go on a second first-date with you." Will humoured him.

"Friday Night, 7pm, I'll tell you where." Nico said, excitement swelling.

Yes, maybe starting from scratch wouldn't be such a bad thing. 

End Notes: Man this chapter was a struggle to write but I got there in the end. I really hope you liked it.

As always, comment your thoughts and consider leaving a vote <3