You don't realize how special something is, until it's actually gone from your life. We get so caught up sometimes from useless events in our lives, we lose sight just how important some things are to us.
"Why did you go? Please come back. I want you. No. I NEED you. I promise I won't make the same mistakes as I did. I promise."
Well we don't get second chances in reality. What we do get is a bitch slap from regret. And it hits... hard. Sharp pain to the face. To some, it lasts longer than others. Sometimes even for eternity.
October 2009
"I can't wait to see you Dan!" Phil said eagerly to the webcam. "I'm excited to see you as well Phillip" Dan replied with a grin. Dan pressed the end call button on Skype and closed his laptop. "Because you are the reason I still have a reason to be excited." he whispered to himself.
"That's so cheesy" Phil giggled. "It was supposed to be cheesy" Dan said as he leaned to turn off the camera. After turning off the device, Dan turned to Phil with a smile.
"What's with you? All happy and smiley" Phil said with a smile.
"Oh uh, nothing, I had really fun making that video. Thanks for letting me be part of it".
"No problem. We should wash off the whiskers before we go out and eat"
Phil got up to use the sink in the bathroom. As Phil just closed the door, Dan rolled up his sleeve and gently rubbed the marks on his wrist. "Not today" he whispered to himself. He rolled down the sleeve and went to the restroom to clean up before they left.
April 2010
"Wow, Dan, you are astonishing at the piano! How come you never told me you played?" Phil happily said.
"Oh no, I've been told that I am terrible, you don't have to be so nice" Dan replied.
"What?!? You are absolutly amazing! Who told you that you were terrible?"
"Uhh..." Dan hesitated. He started to think back to 2006. His family always told him playing the piano was stupid and a waste of time and that he should play a sport or get a part time job. But to Dan, playing piano was one of his favorite hobbies. His family made him feel like he was a mistake to society. Everyday. Constantly. But playing helped him escape from reality. From the yelling, arguements, and pain. It was his happy little pill.
"Oh I just didn't practice for awhile, so I'm not that good" Dan said quietly, but loud enough for Phil to hear. He continued to play.
Phil placed his hand on Dan's shoulder. "So what are you playing? It sounds kind of sad." Phil questioned him. It was a piece that Dan wrote himself. He wrote it about his depression and his internal fears. He bundled the worst things in life to him and made music.
"Oh, just something I made. No title. I just play it whenever there is a piano around" Dan replied with sad eyes.
"Wow, you are so talented Dan. You know, you manage to suprise me each day when we spend time together." Phil commented with a cheeky smile.
"Oh thanks Phil". Dan placed a smile on his face and looked at Phil as if he was the best thing ever. Which he was to Dan.
July 2011
"I'm dying Phil! It's so fucking hot" Dan complained while lying on the couch.
"Maybe it wouldn't be like a sauna to you, if you were to wear something shorter" Phil sassily argued.
Dan turned pale and went to his room and closed the door behind him. He pulled out a short sleeve t-shirt and changed into it. He took a deep breath and looked at his wrist. Faded marks but still slightly visible. It's been two years since he last held a blade. Dan then went out back into the lounge where Phil was.
"See, isn't that better" Phil said as he smiled. Dan slightly nodded and took a seat back onto the couch.
"Ugh, dammit Dan". Dan passed out on the couch, basically taking up the entire seat. His legs were stretched out and his arms out on the edges of the furniture. Phil had no choice, but to sit on the floor, with couch behind him to support him.
After just editing a video for 20 minutes, Phil overhears Dan mumbling in his sleep. Phil turns to Dan's face and quietly 'awws'. He turns back to his laptop, but as he turns back to his laptop, Phil then notices marks on Dan's exposed arm. Phil leaned closer and was shocked what he saw in front of him.
"Dan cuts? How come he never told me?" He said to himself.
He looks back at Dan and sighed. He resumed back to editing his video.
