I'd Lie

Chapter 17- Broken Words and A Speaking Heart

**AUTHORS NOTE**

PLAY THE SONG TO ADD MORE OF A DRAMATIC EFFECT AS YOU READ! THIS SONG POPPED UP WHILE I WAS TYPING OUT THIS CHAPTER AND IT'S JUST PERFECT...

Was is too late to back out? No. I could just run right now and pretend to be a teen ding- dong- ditcher-

"Adri?" Chase greeted with a hint of surprise after opening the door. See, we were drifting away. I could burst through his house anytime before and he would look at me as if I lived there too. Now, I was just another friend.

"This was a bad idea. I'm sorry for dist-" he got out after I started walking away and wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing me close into his chest. 

"No, stay," He looked into my eyes. Our bodies were pressed against each other's and I had to remember how to breathe.

I nodded slowly before he led us both inside. His arm didn't uncurl from my waist until we reached his livingroom. I plopped down on his couch. The familiar furniture, bringing the feeling of home back. 

"What's happening, Chase?" I blurted out.

He looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"Chase, you and I have been growing further apart. We no longer talk the way we used to before and we no longer hang out. I know that you have a girlfriend now and everything, but it seems like you've forgotten that you also have a friend. I'm not trying to sound clingy-"

Clingy should be my middle name.

"Or selfish-"

Selfish should be my first name.

"But I just miss us. I miss you and I guess I was just kind of hoping that maybe, just maybe we could go back to how things were before. It sounds stupid just saying that," I shook my head. I couldn't even look him in the eyes, but when I did, I wanted to lose myself in them.

I wanted to dive into that deep blue that that would set the burning ache I had, down. To forget the others and just get lost. With him being my guide, my guide to where his heart was. I would get to be where his heart pumped nice and steady. I needed something nice and steady right now. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control with no rhythm- Chase was the rhythm I needed.

"I miss you too, Adri. God I miss you. I don't know what's happening to us, but I don't like it. Yeah I have a girlfriend, but she's not the only one I want to have by my side at all times. You know," he shook his head with a small chuckle. "Before I got with Nicole, I thought- I don't know what it was- I just- I think I had something going on for you, but when I did meet Nicole, I realized maybe those feelings I had for you were a phase or something," he shrugged as his eyes burned through mine.

I wanted to scream until my lungs dried out. I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest and tell him how many times my heart had suffered for a truth that was less than a whisper away from him. I wanted to show him how much I loved him. But of course, the words I wanted him to hear lodge in my throat; break at my teeth. Leaving me with broken words that cut my tongue, further prohibiting me from speaking. I swallowed those words, down to where they belong. "What?" I whispered.

"Don't worry, those feeling are long gone. I didn't want them to interfere with our friendship-" his words seemed muffled. I was looking at him, but no words seem to come out of his moving lips. My heart was speaking louder than he was, but he was strangely turned deaf when it was my heart's turn to speak.

"Can we just go back to how we were before?" I wanted to end the torture. I wanted the feelings to stop hurting to the point where I now felt numb. Too much pain caused this numbness. 

"Yes, we can," he smiled. I got up from the couch after shooting him a broken smile. He wrapped his arms around me and held on tight. I held on tight too. 

"See you later then," I grinned.

"Always," he replied.

"Oh and Chase? I love you," but he had already shut the door and my words had already gone with the wind.