047. ━ you can't be gone

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chapter forty-seven ━ you can't be gone( season nine, episode one )

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chapter forty-seven ━ you can't be gone
( season nine, episode one )

❝Just—Just wiggle a finger. Anything
so I don't have to do this. Please don't
leave me.❞

ELLIE STARED UP at the hospital, a large pit growing in her stomach. She couldn't go in; she just... she couldn't. She couldn't say goodbye.

How could she say goodbye?

With heavy steps, she made her way into the hospital and walked the familiar path to the elevator. Once she stepped off, she entered the main lobby and saw Meredith and Bailey standing at the nurse's station.

The attending nudged the new fellow and she looked over. "Ellie," she said immediately and the blonde glanced at her briefly. "Uh—I thought Jackson said you'd be coming by later?"

"Coming later wouldn't change anything," Ellie replied, her voice hoarse. It sounded like she had been crying for days and Meredith knew she had been.

Bailey pressed her lips together at the sight of the young woman whose usual sparkle in her eye was gone. "How—How are you? It's nice to see you again."

Ellie looked down at her watch. "Seven hours."

She walked away and Meredith sighed, watching her disappear from her view. She knew the pain that Ellie was going through all too well. The only difference was that Ellie had spent much more time with her brother than she had with Lexie.

But the pain of losing a sibling was the same.

Ellie paused in front of a hospital room and her eyes immediately wandered inside. "Ellie." She looked over and Richard walked toward her. "Uh—We're all set for tonight. Unless, of course, you had any questions or concerns for me." She shook her head wordlessly, looking back into the room. He nodded and cleared his throat. "Well, then—uh—five o'clock."

"Five o'clock," she echoed before opening the door to the room. She paused in the doorway and Richard watched as she slowly walked toward the bed and sat down on the chair next to it, taking his hand on hers. "Hi, Mark."

She licked her unusually dry lips and looked up at the sound of the ventilator. "I'm sorry that I haven't been by to visit," she said, looking back at her brother's pale frame. "But... the closer we got to today, I—" She took in a shaky breath. "The more I didn't want to come." She tilted her head as tears filled her eyes. "You just had to make me your power of attorney, didn't you?

"I mean, if it was up to me, I'd keep you plugged in for much longer. Selfishly. I just want to keep you alive. Even if you're not alive..." She squeezed his hand desperately. "Don't do this to me, Mark. Please. Just—Just wiggle a finger. Flutter your eyes. Anything. Anything so I don't have to do this." She covered her mouth as the tears fell faster. "Please don't leave me."

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