You ought to Smile more~

Dad Jokes from funny blokes!

Q: What do you call it when a bunch of chickens play hide and seek?

A: Fowl play!

A woman brought her Saint Bernard to the vet. She said to the veterinarian, "I'm concerned that my dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him doctor? Will he be okay?"

"Well, I'm not sure," said the vet. "Let's have a look at him." The vet picked up the dog and examined his eyes. Finally she said, "I'm going to have to put him down."

Stunned, the woman exclaimed, "What? Why would you do that?! Just because he's cross-eyed?"

The vet replied, "No, because he's really heavy."

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

A: "Odor in the court!"

An owl lost his voice, but it didn't give a 'hoot'.

Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can't *tuna* fish.

People can say that Zebras are carnivores, but they'd be *lion*.

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a 'zippo'? (This once fucking killed me)

A: One is really heavy and the other is a *little lighter*

Q: What did the seal with a broken arm (seals actually DO have arms.) say to the shark?

A: "Do not consume if seal is broken."

Q: Why can't dogs get MRIs?

A: Because only *CAT scan!*