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I felt my heart skip a beat as Lusi's lips brushed against my cheek. The brief touch sent a jolt of electricity through my body, leaving me reeling from the unexpected intimacy. I sat there frozen, my eyes locked onto hers, as struggled to process the implications of this moment.
On one hand, as a loyal worker, i had the utmost respect for Lusi and Odamenth family. I viewed them as my betters, and any kind of romantic something advance would be utterly improper.
I knew that if discovered, it could mean losing my job, perhaps even being cast out or shunned by the very people I had dedicated my life to serving.
Without looking directly at Lusi, I bowed my head immediately, a flush of embarrassment burning my cheeks, its heat unmistakable. It was not her intention to kiss me in such a manner. I still feel the pressure of her prayer on my figure.
"Miss Lusi Odamenth..." I mumble, my voice trembling slightly as I struggle to find the words. My mind goes blank, pondering what to say next, her actions having left me utterly disconcerted. "I... I don't know what came over you just now," I say, as Lusi looks at me curiously.
"What do you mean? I thought it was a nice gesture, a way to show affection... You said you had no one to hold your hand, to comfort you, to caress your cheek. But I want to convey that I am here for you," Lusi attempts to take my hand, but I withdraw sharply, though it's not meant to hurt her. There's so much I want to say, so much anger to show, but I can do nothing, for she is the daughter of my master. I shake my head, my Adam's apple bobbing with anxiety.
"But... but it wasn't proper. You are the lady of the manor, and I am merely a humble shepherd. Such... such things should not occur between us," I stammer, biting my tongue between my teeth. I'm unsure how my words will affect her, but my utmost effort is to keep my speech gentle and polite.
"Oh, come now," Lusi says with a smile.
"We're friends, aren't w—" Lusi begins, but at that moment, I interrupt her with a look of complete despair, my gaze smoky with half-consumed disappointment.
"We aren't. And it could never be possible, nor have I ever suggested that our relationship is anything more than that of a servant and a mistress. Nothing more," I stammer.
"If your father found out, he'd be furious. And rightly so. I'd lose my position, and probably be thrown off the estate."
"I know it's not according to custom, but... but I couldn't help how I feel. When I'm with you, I feel so happy and free... You are truly a kind personality which moves me even more... I know your current situation but still your heart is rich I didn't mean it that way—" Lusi bit her lip. I let out a deep sigh. She had already bowed her head, and I turned my gaze away from her, watching the playful dance of the river’s waves before me.
"I understand, believe me, I understand. You're a kind and beautiful lady, and... and I care for you deeply. But we must be sensible. Our stations in life preclude such... such romance. You are the daughter of a landowner, and I am but a servant in your household. Perhaps I may be pleasing to the eye, but what worth is that without wealth? I know you did not mean to convey your feelings in this way, but this is our reality. I regret that it is not right for me to maintain a friendship with you, beyond a professional demeanor where I can address you as ‘miss.’
"Love is indeed a complex matter. Perhaps you fancy me for my character or my appearance, but if you look beyond that, you’ll see I am a person severely lacking in financial means, who works by day and eats by night. Such a union is not feasible. This morning, when I saw you standing at my door, I realized that you might harbor different feelings for me, feelings that were fully expressed in your words. But I never imagined you would reveal them so soon. I am not disappointed in you. You are a young woman acting on emotion rather than reason. But here I am, 25 years old, and the harshness of reality is something you cannot even fathom."
I exhale lengthily and look at Lusi, who still has her head bowed, her knees drawn up to her chest.
"Do not cry, Lusi Odamenth," I say with a firm yet gentle voice, moving my entire body towards her. "It’s merely a fleeting sentiment of your 19 years. You are indeed wealthy and will find something even better in the future, which you deserve because of your sweet nature and beauty. I truly admire that. But remember, the small mistake you made today could have been exploited by someone else if I were not here. I am explaining this to you. You must remain in your class."
Lusi pouted slightly, wiping hear off from cheek feeling a pang of disappointment. But she understood my words I think, and knew i spoke the truth. The reality check fact
"You're right," she said with a sigh. "I'm sorry for letting my feelings get the better of me. Of course, you're right, it wouldn't be proper." She stood up, brushing her beautiful floral pattern frock "I'll try to be more mindful in the future. Thank you for being honest with me."
I nodded, standing as well. I observed her rise, meticulously arranging her hair into a bun and donning her cap once more. My face remained furrowed, still etched by the harsh glare of the sun. Once she had fully composed herself, she glanced my way, prompting me to stand before her. By then, a gentle evening breeze had begun to stir, pulling her garments backward, revealing the contours of her legs, which led me to avert my gaze, pressing my eyes towards her face, eliciting from me a dry, strained smile.
"Of course, Miss Lusi Odamenth, I could never lie to you." I smiled gently. " Even if it means hurting your feelings a little. Still this fond is precious to me" Lusi returned me a small checked at my last sentence
"Appreciate that. You're a good man. A loyal and honest one." She took a step closer to me. "I hope you know that even if we can never be more than miss and her servant, still I'll always value and respect you." My heart swelled at her words. I reached out and gently touched her hand lift up to mine and gently place a dry bump on the surface to which she gives a dimple cosy smile. And this time the warmest one......
"It's a lot for me, Miss Lusi Odamenth～"
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