"So, you gonna come!?" " Sam... my baby needs me, I don't wanna leave her with my crazy ass mama..." "Okay... what bout his mama!? Shit... she loves you and Heaven... so," "I think he'll get mad..." "Why!? He should have her,... since he said he wants his family back so damn bad!" "I do too..." Sammy was sure I needed to just be done, let go of someone who was hurting me for loving him. I wondered, was it really, did I do it myself. Hurting before he even came along, and I tried my best to believe that but, I couldn't. Wondering where he was in his grief process, over us, under another woman's spell, cast with coochie and blind faith, wicked down into full submission and complicity.
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She had me in the gym with her, my main support, as I was ignoring him, had him blocked, as I stalked his pages, and the hoes in his comment section. Looking at our beautiful brown baby girl, eyes round and alert but not as bright as they would become, when she saw her daddy. One thing that made me feel a little more hopeful was clients, I was really out here, working hard and so, the money was back to coming in like it used to be. But, I found working for three or four clients amounted to what I would make with just working with Kendrick. My salary wasn't anything amazing but the bonuses definitely helped.
I was just happy that I saved up the bricks of cash, kept designer shoes and clothes that weren't ever used by models on shoot and other things I can only value by the memories of the nights I couldn't even talk to my girls about. "Well, my birthday ain't for another month and a half, so... you got time and I need you!! How can I not have my sister with me on my 21st!" "Yeah... I know... I will be , you know that sis..." "And, I want you to let this Jay Rock thing be for now... you and baby girl need stability Shae... he's a cheater and, the gang shit is legit, I won't front... hate the fool, but... ummm... he tied tied... you really done had a baby with a big B" "I ain't care about that... and he's more than"- "Oh, here we go with the lover girl shit..." "Yeah! I am, so what..."
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"You don't wanna just, have fun?..." "By fun..., you mean?" " I mean, be free... fuck who you want, whenever... mingle with a couple rich niggas... we both know, you know how to pull them!" "Sammy! What!?" "I can't say... cuz you ain't supposed to have told me, and you'll get mad!?" "Girl! I did not pull anyone... these niggas be wanting me!? Remember that" "I know that's right...and you snatched that lil niggas soul,... that's why he's"- "Sammy!!! Stop! Bringing up old shit won't help!"
