ᴘᴏꜱꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴠᴇ, ᴏʙꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴠᴇ (𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘬𝘪 𝘬𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘰)

ᵐʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉ, ᵐⁱⁿᵉ ᵃˡˡ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ

bonus

i'd just want her to be.. well, my love, mine all mine. good grief, i've turned into the very individual that i've always scoffed at. i guess, that's why it's so peculiar to me. how love can make me so.. how do i say this? so different, from what i know of myself? how can this one person shift me into someone i've never thought i could be? 

maybe those questions can't be answered, yet still it shakes me.

like i'm just hovering over this character of myself, and choosing things to do through buttons of decisions. 

it could be so, but it doesn't change the fact that she's the only person who truly makes me feel alive, instead of just surviving.

i.. love you so.

i truly hope that we can be one this time. i hope that you'll begin loving me, just as how i love you. 

i talk to the moon about you. maybe it's because the moon is the only one that'd listen, or that it'd be the only one to understand, but when it shines down on me, it's almost like i see you in the distance. that's corny, but to me, you're so pure that the moon can simply define you with its light. the sun too, with its warmth. you're everything.

you remind me of the flowers that bloom in the spring, because of how much colour you bring into my life. flowers i'd like to give you, every day, your favorite ones.

 even with how much i hate summer, it with its blazing hot weather, i can never fully hate it when the beautiful glow emitting from the sun encaptures the very essence of how my heart feels around you. maybe i love summer then, because nobody is there to bother me. (except you, of course. you never bother me.)

and autumn, you remind me of the falling leaves off a tree finally free and dancing with the wind ━ no wait, you remind me of the wind itself. how everytime i go outside, i'm surrounded by the gust that blows towards me, that i used to hate and saw as a pain, instead now see as another recollection of you. 

the winter ━ it's always beautiful. though dark, surrounded by cloudy and snowy weather, always manages to brighten up with its snow. cold and dark, yet so peaceful. like you in a way. even when you're not doing well, you're trying. you're trying to stay calm, trying to keep peace with everyone. i love that about you. even when it's not your fault, you take the blame. but when it is your fault, i can't help but smile a bit at how you deny it and lie jokingly. and too, how you get sad when people don't match your energy, or things don't go your way, but you still keep your composure. it's so odd to me.

maybe it'll be our time soon. 

when the time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red, and the night's so blue, i'll say it to you. 

"i love you."

though only once, it feels good to get it off my chest. like doves being released into a beautiful wedding, and flying towards the sky. with how much it's stuck in my head constantly, it feels good to let it out. 

but unfortunately, i couldn't say it to you just yet.

just practice in the mirror, or in the little room i have filled with pictures of you in. 

where my corkboard is filled with photos of you with others, their heads crossed out and yours with a heart. where i collect objects you lose ━ like that pencil you always chewed on. what a pain to be such a loverboy. i never thought i could be such.

well..

i just want you to be my love, mine all mine.

. . .

tryna do faster updates, but heres a bonus for now!! sorry ive been so inactive uffh 

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