The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

the museum

"!? w-何それ- (w-WHAT THE-)"

"...oh my gud-"

"EUGHH- oh its just blood" lampert scoffed as he stepped away from the small riverflow of blood and attempted to wipe it off his metallic casing. "this'll take forever to clean up-"

"!? IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE MOST CONCERNED ABOUT??" pest growled, trying to ignore the baffling sight of the poor body as poob couldn't stop staring, feeling their throat run dry.

"and-? what do you want me to be concerned about then?"

"...the fucking body-? its FRESH??? WE'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE HERE?? そんなにバカなの？？？ (ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF AN IDIOT????)"

"uhh p-pezt-"

"......I  mean......thatsss- something?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETHING!? ハヤ YOU REALLY A PSYCHO!!!"

"pezt-"

"PSYCO!? YOU SHOULD SEE YOURSELF PSSHT-"

"p-pezt!!"

"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T HUNT AND KILL PEOPLE!! LET ALONE FOR SPORT!!!!"

"PEZT"

"何？？ (WHAT??)"

"THE BODY!!! ITZ- ITZ MOVING!!!"

the two bantering idiots stopped when they heard the squealsh of the nailed body, which was just hanging onto the ceiling as it twisted and groaned, its claw clicking against the ceiling tiles as it opened its white glowing eyes, everything else was basically shrouded in the darkness surrounding the trio slowly backed off at the horrific realization

"w-WHAT THE FUCK!!!" lampert screamed out, he'd never seen an undead mutant after all.

"!? なんてことだ- (HOLY SHIT-)"

"WAT R WE STANDIUNG HERE FO??? RUNNNNN!!!!!" poob screamed as they threw their party hat at the thing, to supposedly buy them even a millisecond of a time, then they all started to run for their life, with poob's mind going back to the empty hospital with pest, being chased down and attacked by a beastly infected all over again.

lampert of course easily outran the two and the thing as poob basically clung onto pest, almost costing their death as they kept on tumbling, unfortunately lampert stopped as he hit a diversion: a room and another hallway to run down at.

"??? shit- where do we go??"

"THE ROOM!!" poob yelled as the two were close to catching up, lampert immediately started to try and kick the door down as it got closer and closer, and in what seemed like a hopeless second quickly turned into a great chance of survival as lampert managed to successfully kick the door down as the others quickly entered, with lampert going in last and shutting the door at the monster's face, struggling to try and holding off the door with his own body as pest quickly quickly shoved a bookcase onto the way, successfully containing the beast outside as it kept clawing and screeching outside.

"o-oh.....thank god..." poob laughed nervously as they took a look at their shaking hands, their entire body still being filled with adrenaline and terror, with pest almost collapsing onto the ground, lampert simply just stood front of the bookcase, shocked and flabbergasted.

"what even WAS THAT?" pest demanded as lampert just glanced at his blood coated figure with poob looking around to see that they'd trapped themselves in a rather large room containing other artifacts that looked like they didn't belong on the main halls. axes, sculptures of tortured ones, the hanged clothes of an executer, drawing of the detailed, brutal history that is all contained within this room.

"?? god whoevea designed dis place didn't know what dey were doing-"

"who cares?? we almost DIED to a MOVING CORPSE!!" 

"y-yeah.." lampert finally managed to utter out as he turned around and started to get squeamish knowing that the blood of that freak was on the hands of his own. literally. "where even are we??"

"uhm...seemz leik an exhibition fo sumthin else?"

pest calmed his nerves down a bit as the three decided to investigate this strange room, with lampert looking rather confused on a large rock-like monolith with strange writing, the translation set for him as he read it to himself, not bothering to care if the others heard it.

"..every soul inhabiting this spoiled land across this globe will fuse with the righteous gods-the heavens above?? and the the fire of hell ergo becoming ....something greater than the universe thyself?"

pest immediately stopped and turned around "what did you say?"

"oh nothing I was just reading thi-" pest shoved lampert away before he could properly explain himself and stared wide eyes at the plaque of translation and the monolith contained within the glass barrier.

"holy SHIT" he looked around, seeing the sculptures suddenly resemble a prophecy for the day of joy, the clothes- were for the cultists...that art...

depictions of what that cult had did.

"this is an exhibition for the CULT." pest immediately said, pointing everywhere "the EYE OF THE BEHOLDER." he said as he pointed to a plaque for a display of a strange white mask, half of it broken off as its sinister empty eyes complimented the spiked design.

"certain demonic being..." lampert looked at the bookshelf, seeing how silent it had gotten since that demon had possibly left. Poob looked around in disbelief "huh...so dey WERE knowing wat dey were doin..."

pest slowly approached the almost glowing mask, seeing how it seemed to almost call out to him, he slowly traced it with his clawed finger as poob immediately noticed as quickly pulled him away 

"!? HEY-"

"wat?? I dunt want u to get POSSESED!!"

"look I'm sure its fine to touch-"

"nu, let ME take it." poob insisted and pest let them, poob gulped as they slowly pulled the mask from its display, afraid of its power, but knew if it tried anything funny, then they'd burn it.

except. nothing happened.

"... huh-"

"see? I told you."

"guess so-"

BANG BANG BANG

" !?!?!? イエス (JESUSS)-"

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"huh...what a coincidence.." lampert said amusingly as the other two panicked 

"SHIT SHIT SHIOT WHAT DO WE DO NOW???"

"I-.." pest looked at the teary poob stumped. feeling his throat unable to form any words of reassurance or insults. not even a simple word, just "I don't know.."

"WE'RE GUNNA DIEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

lampert calmly looked around, spotting the caged axe behind the dusty glass as he simply went over to it and smashed it, making the two yelp as they watched him pick up the rather heavy medieval styled execution axe, looking back at the two with the same drawn on sharpie smile, never to convey his emotions or ideas within the dark as he reassured the two.

"I know exactly what to do."