Bottom Harry One Shots

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Summary: Professor Neville Longbottom thinks his birthday today will just be a normal day like any other, he believes he can hide his long-time crush with Professor Theodore Nott, and he is also sure that he will die as a virgin. All of that are complete lies.

Ships: TheodoreNottxNevilleLongbottom, DracoMalfoyxHarryPotter, HermioneGrangerxPansyParkinson, RonWeasleyxBlaiseZabini, LunaLovegoodxGinnyWeasley, SeamusFinniganxDeanThomas

All credit goes to melanie_bxx on Ao3

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Neville grunted low when the sunlight hit his eyes, he must have forgot to close his curtains, he was so tired from preparing lessons yesterday, he fell asleep during it, again, right on the table. It wasn't his first time, and he wasn't sure how he could fix this habit either. It was only July but he felt the need to prepare for the all the lessons he'll be teaching once the students come back, he has nowhere else to go anyway. Neville opened his eyes slowly and looked up at the ceiling, another day has started, and he has no energy for it.

"Right" He sat up and looked down at himself, he didn't even have the time to change into his pyjamas last night. He dragged himself inside his bathroom and picked up his toothbrush. He has bags under his eyes, his blond hair was messy, his cheek still has the little dot of ink on when he accidentally poke his quill into his face yesterday. Neville finished getting ready in barely five minutes and got out of his own room.

"Hi Professor" Rose passed by and nodded at him with three books in her arms, she definitely got that from Hermione

"Hi Ros—..." Wait—it was July, why was she here?

"You wanker, I'm going to kill you for breaking my nail yesterday" Rose yelled and ran after Arthur, Blaise and Ron's son, who was standing a few feet away from her

"No running in the hall" He said loudly and kept walking, Rose must have got some fierceness from Pansy as well, it was no surprise if he was honest. Both Pansy and Hermione have got married fifteen years ago, and got Rose three years after, and now the little Ravenclaw girl was only in her Second Year in Hogwarts, learning more than any student ever would. But still, why would she be here?

"Hi James and Scorpius"

"You saw us, Professor?" Neville smiled when the twin boys pulled off their Invisibility Cloak when they failed to scare him. Hold on, why were they here too?

"I thought we were discreet" Scorpius said and combed his black hair while James stood there with his messy blond hair and has no intention of fixing it at all

"No pranking in the hall, alright?" He bent down to tell the Third Year Gryffindors before ruffling both of their hair "Your dad will find out, and I'm not talking about Harry"

"Sorry, Professor" The boys pouted and sprinted away, he should know Draco'd have a bigger impact on his kids rather than Harry, not that Harry meant nothing to them, but Draco was the stricter one out of the two of them. Neville arrived at the Great Hall soon and opened the door in to see all the professors already sitting at the table eating lunch. Wait what?

"Why are you guys here?" He asked genuinely, it was July, all professors were supposed to go home, and they did, only Neville and two others stayed back at Hogwarts "It's July"

"Hey, you missed breakfast, Nev" Harry spoke once Neville got to the table and settled down "Staying up late again?"

"Preparing lessons?"