Bottom Harry One Shots

The Reveal

Summary: Sirius has spent the day studying for his newts and thinking about housing arrangements, today is not the day for news to come out. Of course Regulus, Evan, and Barty, didn't get that memo and several days later he finds himself running after his best friend and cursing him out.

Ships: EvanRosierxJamesPotter, RegulasBlackxBartyCrouchJr

All credit goes to Ghostofafruit on Ao3

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Sirius was just trying to go about his day. He'd be graduating in three weeks, and he'd rather like to find his own home even if Effie and Monty were more than welcoming to him. He did not have the energy to be care that three Slytherin boys were currently sat in front of the fireplace, practically taking over the main area of the common room. Remus didn't have the energy either, the full moon having been three nights ago and the impending doom of having to find his own home. Peter, however, noticed immediately and was rather shocked. So shocked in fact that he froze right in front of them. Sirius walked right into him, Remus nearly did too.

Barty was the one that looked up at him. His smile was unnerving, none of them had seen him smile before. Not properly anyway. He'd give smirks and half smiles easily, but this was different.

"You don't happen to know where James is, do you?" he asked. Peter blinked at him, he felt rather like he was the deer and not James.

"What's it to you?" Sirius asked, annoyed he wasn't already in bed taking a much needed nap.

"Come on brother, we just want to know where our boyfriend is," Regulus said, smirking at him. They hadn't exactly agreed on telling people, but James had always been the one most willing to tell people. He understood there were risks for his boyfriends of course, but anytime it was brought up he would always say he didn't care who knew he loved them. Sirius gaped at them.

"Do you mind? I don't have all day to stare at you imitating a gold fish, I just want to know where James is. We have a surprise date planned, not that it's any of your business," Evan said.

"He's still in the library, staring at potions books," Remus chimmend in. Regulus nodded at him in thanks, but made no move to get up.

"Sorry, you're dating Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"What's it to you?" Barty asked, smirking at him.

"My brother is dating Prongs?" Sirius asked, turning to Remus.

"He's dating all of us you know," Barty said, huffing.

"Polyamory, ever heard of it?" Evan asked, sounding almost bored.

"Prongs is dating my little brother," Sirius said, sounding almost hysterical.

"And two other people, keep up," Evan said.

"Honestly, you'd think mother and father had dropped you on your head for how often youre repeating that," Regulus said, relaxing into the sofa. They had intentionally showed up still in their uniforms, and the green and silver adoring the otherwise black and white uniform stood out harshly in the red and gold room.

"You're dating my best friend?" Sirius asked.

"And these two, we're all dating each other," he said. Sirius looked close to fainting.

"I could go get James for you, if you want," Peter offered, having finally prosseced the information as best he could.

"No, we're fine to wait," Evan said. Peter nodded and continued up to his dorm, Sirius was still muttering on about his best friend and his brother. Remus chose to sit down in his go to armchair, interested in how everything was going to pan out.

"Reggie, you're dating my best friend?" Sirius asked loudly.

"Is now the right time to mention they also fuck?" Barty fake-whispered to Evan. Sirius looked horrified, almost traumatised. Behind him James entered the room, nose deep in a text book still.

"Mi amor," Regulus called. James dropped the book, and looked up at them. After a second he lit up, shock being washed away for joy, though he was frozen to the spot. Barty stood and moved over to him.

"Darling," he greeted, fixing James ever wonky glasses.

"Hi," James said, though he sounded almost breathless.

"We have a date planned, grab your map and cloak," Evan called over to them. Sirius finally swung around to face James.

"You little brother-fucker," he said, though he didn't move closer. Barty couldn't help but snort.

"That implies James is capable of being a top," Evan pointed out, as Regulus smirked. James was too busy trying to decide if this was some dream-nightmare hybrid or real life and becoming a tomato to admire all his boyfriends' reactions. Sirius started to pale.

"Yes, he's more a fuckee than fucker," Barty chimed in happily. Sirius' eyes widened.

"You didn't call me a best friend-fucker, despite it being accurate" Regulus pointed out. Sirius turned from horrified to traumatised.

"Probably because it doesn't roll of the tongue as nicely as brother-fucker," James pointed out.

"Ready to go? We put a lot of effort into planning this date," Barty asked him. James smiled at him and nodded.

"He's not ready, he doesn't have his map and cloak," Evan pointed out.

"You guys know about those?" Sirius asked, happy to snap out his daze.

"How do you think we successfully hid a two year relationship?" Regulus asked him as he stood from the sofa.

"Dorcas, Pandora, Marlene, and Lily all know," Barty pointed out.

"Yeah well, that doesn't count," Regulus tried. Remus snorted, he'd been enjoying the show. He may have loved Sirius, but watching him become so horrified over the idea of James and his brother and almost entirely ignore the other two was somewhat hilarious.

Three days later James Potter was seen running through the halls shirtless and without his glasses as Sirius Black chased after him, both their wands in hand. He was shouting something about fucking his brother and being a liar.

"I have three boyfriends Pads, stop focusing on your brother!" James shouted as he nearly ran into a wall. He wasn't that blind without his glasses, but he had been chased out of bed, shirtless and blind and still slightly tired.

"You fuck my brother! That's horrifying that is! You get your arse back here you little shit!" Sirius shouted after him.

"I don't fuck him, he fucks me!" James shouted back, nearly colloding with a person that looked more like a faceless blob.

"Should we tell him the Slytherin dorm is the other way?" Evan asked as he stepped out of his boyfriend's way.

"And miss the opportunity to watch him run around shirtless with bed-hair?" Regulus asked.

"Other people are staring at him though," Barty complained.