Emo boy || Johnnie x Reader

Depression.

This chapter contains mentions of Self harm, depression and eating disorders, if your not comfortable with these themes, please skip the chapter. my dms are always open!

I woke up feeling like shit. I have had days like this since high school. One day I can be so happy and the next I feel like crap. I noticed that the house was silent and the bed was empty.  I reached to grab my phone and saw a message from Johnnie.

Johnnie<3: We went to grab food but I didn't want to wake you. I can bring you something back if you like?

You: I'm okay don't worry, I'll grab something from the kitchen.

I decided to head to the bathroom and I stood in the bathroom mirror. I began to pull apart each part of my body. My arms were too wide. My legs were too chunky. My stomach wasn't flat. My waist wasn't small. My shoulders were too broad. I wasn't good enough for him.

I began to sob and I noticed a blade on the sink. I picked it up and began to cut lines all over my legs and arms as I curled up on the floor and cried. I figured Jake, Johnnie and Tara would be home soon so I changed into some low rise, grey joggers and a long sleeved black top to cover up my body.

My stomach churned but the idea of food made me want to be sick. I sat down on the bed and went through my phone for a while until I heard the door open and close. I decided to get into the bed and just chill until Johnnie came upstairs.

He walked into the bedroom. "Morning." He spoke as he approached me. "Morning." I said while forcing a smile. "Have you been crying? Your eyes are really red Amy." He spoke softly as he sat beside me and cuddled up to me. "No I'm fine, just tired that's all." I spoke again. He seemed to believe me and shrugged it off.

We sat together for a while, watching TikTok. "I'm grabbing some food, do you want anything?" he asked me as he got up. I smiled and shook my head, "No thank you." He smiled and left the room.

I felt bad about keeping this shit from him but I didn't feel like being a burden. I heard him talking downstairs. I decided to change into one of Johnnies hoodies as I was more comfy.

I crawled back into the bed and went on my phone. Johnnie entered the bedroom and I smiled at him. "I'm heading to the shower, but when I'm back do you want to stream?" I nod my head and he entered the bathroom.  I heard a quiet "Fuck." From Johnnie. He came back into the bedroom and he seemed to be upset. "Are you okay?" I asked. "I think I should be asking you that Amy." He spoke and I looked at him confused. "The blade on the floor." He spoke and my face dropped instantly. Johnnie  came and sat on the bed.

"What's going on?" He asked me. I instantly began to cry and he wrapped his arms around me. I had finally calmed down and I pulled away from his hug. "Could you tell me what's wrong?" Johnnie asks me. "I feel like I'm not good enough for you like, I don't have a perfect body I'm covered in scars." I spoke quietly as Johnnie looked at me. "Amy, your so beautiful and You are good enough for me. You are so amazing  and I love you so much." He spoke as his hands cupped my face. I smiled at him. "I love you too." I replied and gave him a quick kiss.

I decided i wanted to talk to Tara so I entered her room. "Hey girl!" She spoke out, smiling at me. "Hey!" I replied and sat down. "So I was thinking.." I spoke and Tara stares at me waiting. "We should go to England and I can show you around my home town!" I say smiling brightly. Her smile grew even wider. "I would love to, will we bring the boys?" She asked. "Only if they want to!" I replied back. "Should we ask them?" Tara spoke and I nodded. 

We headed downstairs and approached Jake and Johnnie smirking. "Oh no, what are you scheming about." Jake said when we finally reached them. "Well, me and Tara have decided were going to England to visit my home town." I spoke. "And we were wondering if you guys wanted to join?" Tara spoke. They both agreed. "Well I hope your ready to get barked at by the roadmen and the chavs." I spoke and they looked at me weird. "You will see what I mean." I laughed and I walked away.

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A/N: sorry for such a short chapter, my GCSEs have started up again and I'm super busy and lacking the motivation and the ideas for writing. I do have the day off tomorrow so I may be able to get an extra long part out for you guys! I also hope you don't mind the fact that Amy is British, it just felt right since I'm British LOL.

Read my friends book! heartsforguilbert

Word count: 870