Emo boy || Johnnie x Reader

"why?"

I woke up still tangled into Johnnies arms, but it was still dark outside so I reached over to attempt to grab my phone and check the time without waking Johnnie. I grabbed my phone and it shone in my eyes so I turned the brightness down. 2:00am. By now I was quite awake so I tried to decide what to do.

I remembered I have a stash of a few spliffs hidden in one of my makeup bags in those smell proof bags. It had been a while since I've smoked weed since it was a habit of mine when I dated my ex, Jason. I felt it was my only escape from him. He was mentally and physically abusive towards me. I never told anyone but George as he was around while it happened.

He use to have to physically drag my ex off of me a few times. I decided to slowly crawl out of bed so I wouldn't wake Johnnie and I was successful. I carefully stepped into the bathroom taking a spliff and a lighter. I left the bedroom and left to the back garden.

I closed the door behind me and I placed the spliff in m moth and began to light it when the motion detector light turned on. "Shit" I whispered to myself but I didn't worry as I saw everyone's light was out.

I was about 4 drags in when the door behind me open. "Fuck." I quietly screamed when I saw Jake walking through the door. "Sorry Amy, I didn't mean to scare you." Jake spoke smiling. "No it's okay, How did you know I was out here?" I asked him and he chuckled slightly as he pointed to the light. I laughed back at him slightly before taking another hit.

"Why are you smoking weed at 2am Amy, are you okay?" He asked me as he leaned next me against the wall, with a concerned look on his face. "Oh yeah I'm fine, I just woke up and I wasn't tired and I remembered I have a stash of weed from a while ago and decided why not? Do you want some?" I spoke gesturing the spliff towards Jake. "Yeah sure!" He spoke taking the weed out of my hands.

We both shared the spliff until we were both equally as high as each other, although I had to take more than him as my tolerance was way higher than his. We decided to head into the kitchen to grab food as we had really bad dry mouth. We raided all the cupboards and laid everything out on the kitchen counter an we began eating.

"Y'know, Johnnie really loves you." Jake spoke as he ate a bag of crisps (or chips for my American readers.) I smile and look down giggling. "Shut up and eat your food." I reply and he laughs at me. We carry on eating until we both get tired. Before me and Jake go our separate ways, I began to speak, "Hey, do you mind not telling Johnnie, I just want to explain my past a bit and open up to him myself." as I played with my fingers. He immediately gave me a comforting smile, "I won't tell him, you don't need to worry Ames. Just do it soon, I don't like keeping things from him." He replied and I returned the smile as a 'thank you' and walked into mine and Johnnies room.

I quietly closed the door behind me and I slipped into bed. Cuddling Johnnie again and I soon fell back asleep.

-time skip-

I wake up alone in the bed. I slowly reach over and grab my phone. 1:00pm. I see a message I have from johnnie.

Johnnie<3: I'm in the studio recording for music, I should be back about 4pm. I love you.                                          11:00am

I smiled at my phone. I ended up scrolling through my phone and ordering some Nutella waffles from some breakfast place. About half an hour later, It arrived and I sat in the kitchen. I got urges to get high  again. Fuck. I hopped in my car and quickly drove to a cannabis shop and bought a few edibles and I headed home. I headed to my bedroom and and took a few. 

I hated myself for this but at least I knew how to cover my high.

-a few days later-

I felt like fucking shit. I was getting high every day and Jake began to catch on so I promised to tell Johnnie soon but Jake was  still suspicious and concerned for me. I was going to tell him, I just don't know how to.

Me and johnnie were chilling in our room watching BoJack horseman. "I'll be back I'm going to  the toilet." Johnnie smiled at me and he went into the bathroom. I was on my phone for a few seconds until I realised I left a half eaten brownie in the bathroom. Before you call me disgusting, I was using my eyedrops and I placed it on the counter and then forgot about it.

I prayed he didn't notice, then he came out the bathroom holding it. "Amy, what is this." My eyes widened. "why?" He spoke up again. As he said that I began to think about how to word it, while flashbacks began to intrude my brain. I felt my eyes prick with tears and he immediately put the brownie down and rushed to hug me.

I dug my head into his chest and sobbed as he stroked my hair. I finally calmed down and pulled away and I began to explain. "A few years ago I was in a relationship with a man called Jason and.." I trailed off. "It's okay Ames, take your time." Johnnie spoke and he placed his hand on my leg, making circles with  his thumb. 

"He was really abusive, mentally and physically. My friend George use to have to physically drag him off me. I use to smoke as an escape from the reality I was in. I finally managed to escape him a month before I moved here. The reason I moved out was because he kept coming to my apartment to tell me how he had apparently changed but I didn't believe him. A few nights ago I woke up and I remembered I still had a few spliffs left over just in case and decided to smoke it, then Jake joined me. Then he started to catch me high quite a bit. I was going to tell you soon, I just didn't know how and I was scared you would get mad at me." I finished and I looked down to play with my hands.

Johnnie uses his hands to lift my head back up. "Amy, I would never be mad at you for something serious like this. I love you so much and I'm so sorry you had to go through all that shit. I wish you would have told me instead of me finding out myself but I will help you get through this. Do you mind me asking what happened to Jason?" He spoke with a sweet and genuine smile. "From what I know, he's still living in LA but he's blocked on all social media, I changed my number and all my email shit so I have no contact with him." I reply smiling. 

He nods is head at me and we carry on watching Netflix until we fell asleep.

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word count: 1238