Wanting Wes

Chapter 3

Wes POV

Ellie's eyes roll as Caitlin approaches our table, calling Sawyer's name. She wraps her arms around him, giving him a peck on the cheek. Sawyer's pleasant, exchanging the standard inquiries with her. I know Sawyer and Caitlin stayed friendly for a while after high school. Even Savannah hung out with her for a bit during college. But it didn't last.

I watch Ellie open her mouth, Brett's head shaking no as she does. He's still the dad in our group and his scolding momentarily silences Ellie until she says "oh my gosh, look it's Laurel."

My eyes follow where her finger points, a tic interrupting me but Ellie's right. Laurel stands in the entryway of the hall, scanning the crowd. She looks guarded and distant but amazing, like she always has and I feel nerves build inside me.

The moment I first saw Laurel back in highschool I had nearly melted into a puddle on the spot. I was enamored, enthralled with her and then when I got to know her I fell head over heels in love.

Even when we broke up, I was still in love with her.

And as her eyes land on our group, her face stoic, I feel that familiar tug of home rush through me.

I'm half expecting her to ignore us. Whatever her reasoning for putting distance between us big enough that she no longer considers us friends. I've tried so hard to figure out what pushed her away, I've scrutinized the details of our last few encounters. If I did something I shouldn't, said something I shouldn't. Did I overstep? Make her feel uncomfortable?

I've asked everyone else too, did they notice something I didn't?

But all of us were left confused.

"Fuck it." Ellie grumbles, shoving her chair backwards.

Our heads all swivel as one, watching as she leaves us behind at the table and crosses the room in what seems like a breath. Laurel doesn't say anything as Ellie approaches but I watch as her stoic front breaks and a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth. Ellie links arms with her, marching her through the crowd of tables, claiming Laurel as ours.

By the time they reach our table, Savannah's up, wrapping Laurel in a hug, then Darren and Sawyer, James and Brett, until I'm the only one left.

Everyone has passed her down as they hug and suddenly she's right in front of me and I feel my heart beat wildly in my chest.

I tic.

She's married.

"Hey." I breathe, hoping it sounds more easy than it feels.

"Hi Wes." Her voice is warm, soft, tender and I didn't quite realize how much I missed the sound of it.

"Sit down!" Ellie commands. "Savannah said she has news!"

I smile at Laurel, a smile that we've done a thousand times. It's the "oh Ellie" smile and Laurel returns it. Any chance of us catching up silenced for the time being.

We all sit, Savannah beaming as she proudly shows off the ring that sits on her finger. Ellie screams, clutching Savannah's hand as she makes the light dance in the diamond. And then peppers her with a thousand questions.

The happiness is contagious, all of us full of smiles and questions, probably the loudest table of them all but we're long past worrying about our high school peers. We're together again, all of us.

Maybe not necessarily in the way we all thought but we have a camaraderie that's been built over the course of years, through hookups and breakups, fights and forgiveness. And I've put a lot of weight in the thought that no matter where we are, we'll always come back to each other.

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James is talking about their next vacation planned. They're not big travelers but in between foster kids, when their house is empty they've been going on short trips. Brett and James have visited Ellie and Darren a handful of times, they've gone to Europe once, a cruise once. Almost like they're dipping their toes into the life of kidless couples with money to spare. But I know Brett really loves to foster kids, he loves being a safe place, a place that is accepting and welcoming. All the things his parents wouldn't do for him.

Their relationship is still not great but now when James and Brett go to his Uncle Chris' for family dinners or holidays, they can all coexist within the same four walls decently enough. Brett's dad will even shake James' hand but that might lend itself more to James' charismatic charm than anything that resembles change in Brett's dad.

"How have you not picked a date yet?" Ellie asks Savannah again.

Savannah shrugs, "it just happened, we're just enjoying being engaged I guess."

"Not everyone plans things to a T." James says, a friendly little jab at Darren.

"I still have our wedding planning book and notes from our wedding." Darren adds, not realizing the jab. "You can borrow them if you want."

Savannah's eyes widen in mine and Laurel's directions, a "help me" look pleading in the gray of her irises. "Take the book." Laurel says "planning a wedding is awful."

"Yours was beautiful." There's longing in Savannah's praise like she might actually have the whole thing planned out already.

Laurel shifts next to me, withdrawing from the conversation just as quick as she joined and I can't help but watch her. Trying to hear the things she's not saying. As if I still possess that ability now that we aren't together. We haven't been together for years. I'm aware I don't know Laurel anymore, I haven't known her for awhile.

I've spent more time than I'd should have wondering what would have happened if we hadn't broken up. Would I have pushed past my OCD and fears and moved. Would she have stayed. Would we have resented each other or would just being together be enough.

At the time I thought I had to let her go because I loved her. That she would grow to hate me if I didn't. I could tell she was restless, searching for an adventure I didn't want. So I opened the door and watched her walk through.

I've dated other people. Gotten serious with two others over the years but after the last one I finally had to stop fooling myself. I'd already found the person that I wanted. And I had let her go. That was on me and there was nothing I could do.

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Wes is such a doll.