Why am I Alive?

Chapter Seven

I sat on my bed, reading, well actually just trying to read, then I figured out what was wrong, I wanted to talk to her, it was one of those instant moments where you just reach for the phone and without thinking you might disturb someone, you type a text to them, and I did, since I didn't hear from her all day.

Me: Hey.

Alyna: Hola!.

Me: How are you?

Alyna: ood. You?

Me: Fine. I guess. Sessions with the principal can go bad..

Alyna: what sessions?

Me: A huge lecture about the list of possibilities!

Alyna: hahaha! I can't believe I have a crush over a guy who got lectured by the principal!

Wait. Crush. I thought and re-read the text. C-R-U-S-H.

Me: I don't want sound desperate, but sadly yes!

And then I typed another text. The important one;

Me: Wait, you have a crush on me?

Alyna: On a guy, who your principal loves, to be precise.

Me: You're not serious?

Alyna: I am.

Me: Is this some joke?

Alyna: No.

Me: Can I please see you tomorrow?

Alyna: Friday? I have a test tomorrow. I'll be studying.

Me: Friday it is.

*****

So, what was it? I questioned myself, after all, I've been through, after some girl literally killed me, my high school sweetheart to be precise, she was a bitch, but after I promised myself to never fall in love, ever. I was unintentionally, stupidly, irrevocably falling in love with her.

I knew it, no matter what, no matter what, no matter how much I refused I just couldn't get her out of my mind?. It just swirled around my mind, like a nightmare.

I reminded myself of what I knew about her, she was perfect, in every way, she was... She. Beautiful, crazy, sensitive, funny and stupid, just like me or honestly better than me. I mean she tolerated me a lot. She dealt with me when I'd break down. I mean, it was something not everyone, or no one did. Literally, people left because I told them to, when I was angry. She, well she dealt with it. She handled me, with just her being around, there was nothing I'd worry about. I knew, no matter what shit I go through, at the end of the day, she'd be there, with me. I can always look up on her.

I wanted to be the same for her, I wanted to drag her out of hell, like she did with me.

She was like my only hope left, no matter what.

She was there, always saying something, always giving me hope, there was a lot she said when she didn't say anything.

She was Alyna. Like my reflection. Only a lot stronger. And no matter how many times I mention about how she helped me out, it would never be enough. I knew somewhere between fixing her and getting fixed by her, I, in just a few days, I was in love with her, I considered facts and figures. But Alyna, Alyna made me forget them, she made me not to follow my own rules