Why am I Alive?

Chapter Fifteen

"Head towards downtown" I said, as I talked Alyna into driving us

"Downtown?" She asked as if she didn't know what that meant.

"Yes, Alyna, downtown."

She drove silently. I did not make an attempt to break the silence.

"next left please" I told her the next direction.

"Isaac. You don't have to tell me, I know where we're headed to" she said.

"It's my only choice Alyna," I said after a while.

"Its my only choice too" she said

"I guess this is the right time." She said after a while. So I gave no further directions. She knew where to go. 7 minutes later we stopped in front of the part of you to sea our city shared borders with. She got out of the car and as it was Tuesday night, so almost no one was out there. It was deserted, weekends there'd be loads of people around. I stayed with her on the shore, we didn't look at each other, instead I just slipped my hand in hers. Here in front of us lay the rest of the life.

Why am I not dead?

- Isaac

'...So, how do I start? My story of being alive. It's not too good, if I'm asked to write the truth. But yes,

'Why Am I Not Dead?'

Well, the answer is simple, 'I am Alive'. Though death didn't welcome me, ever! So yes, I have to stay alive because I haven't died as yet, or maybe this excuse works better here; 'My time of death didn't arrive as yet!'

Maybe because, I'm supposed to breathe in the oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide... I'm supposed to keep this 'everything' alive

But there's more to it, I stopped my breath for two minutes, and trust me nothing around me changed, no one died because of me, no tree fell down, no global warming stopped, I made no difference to the world around me, nothing will change after I die, so nothing would change while me being alive,,, I was just, breathing, nothing else and I know if I die or get lost or whatever nothing would change, no lives would grieve, people will go on being people. The sun will not cease to rise, the moon will always be there, the stars will shine, the sky would stay blue, different shades though, it will keep on raining whenever the clouds will show up, the color black would remain black, red would stay red and so on, but what exactly will change? Just me my organs, which kept me alive and nothing else, not even the ones related to me, no one, nothing.

So, after death it is actually nothing you go through this feeling of nothingness. Just think once that tonight is your last night. Tomorrow, after you close your eyes tonight, won't be there. There will be no tomorrow. You will leave everything the way they are; your stories incomplete, the painting left half-finished, the masterpiece you were working on so long gone forever paused, your diary still have to be completed, and your pen been uncovered, the ink drying off its tip, the letters you wrote still not posted, the letters that came in still unread, your homework not done, the assignment you were going to start next week; pending forever, the preparation for your test incomplete and guess what no one will complete your stories for you, go do your homework, start that assignment, or prepare a test for you or paint your canvas, complete your masterpiece, or write your diary for you or cap up your pen or refill the ink so you can work again. Nobody would post those letters for you or read the letters that came in, no one would do anything for you. You're won't do anything for yourself. You're dead. You better tie all lose ends tonight.

What changes you as an individual brought to the world around? Carbon dioxide?

That's what you offer to the whole universe? But even if you stop offering that, nothing; I repeat nothing would change.