He didn’t get a very long nap before responding to Hen. Knowing that she had sent a message was eating him alive, so he got up. He decided to make some afternoon coffee while reading through the message. He put water in the small hotel coffee machine, placed the cup under the nosel, and started the coffee machine.
He opened the message and read through it waiting for his coffee to finish brewing. The message was long, and Buck could tell it was heartfelt. He was half tempted to message back without reading it, but he thought better of it.
‘Hi Buckaroo. I know that we haven’t talked since you left and I am sorry for that. I wanted to message to ask you how you were, and maybe talk about reconciliation. I wanna hear more about your life first though, if you’d like to share.’
Buck had to pause his reading to grab his coffee, he put some sugar and what not into it before sitting on his bed to return back to reading.
‘I would love to talk with you again. I understand if you are mad at me about everything, you have every right to be. I should have kept in contact, I should have done more to support you when you got your leg crushed and when you had your blood clots.’
Buck had to pause, both to drink some of his coffee and to comprehend the message.
‘I’m sorry for not doing more for you. I realized recently how much your presence is missed at the station, and I realized how much I missed you. I wanna keep in contact with you, and I wanna be able to be in your life again. Miss you Buckaroo.’
Buck stared at the message, re reading it several times before trying to type a response.
He kept typing something, deleting it, then retyping it, only to delete it again. When he finally landed on something it was short, Buck had too many thoughts to type at once.
‘Hi Hen. I’m okay talking with you, I don’t know how I feel about reconciliation as of right now. I’m still struggling with everything and returning to LA has helped me realize I need to actually confront my issues rather than run from them. I think if we were to talk some more I would be able to understand your side of things.’
It took Hen a matter of seconds to reply.
‘When do you leave?’
Buck sat on the chat for a bit, he knew what he was gonna say, but didn’t know if he wanted to respond.
‘I leave early Monday morning. Why do you ask?’
Hen took about two minutes to message back, it gave Buck enough time to process his thoughts.
‘Are you free tonight?’
Buck stared at the question for a bit.
‘Yeah, I am.’
She stopped responding for about an hour and a half after that. Buck did things nervously, he showered, made three cups of coffee, and finally, Hen responded.
‘Would you maybe join us for dinner? Me, Karen and Athena were planning on hanging out tonight, but since you’re in town… It would be lovely to be able to catch up in person.’
Buck set his phone down after that question. He didn’t know how to respond. He knew getting out and about would do him so good, and he knew it would be a chance to connect with Hen. Though he couldn’t help but hesitate. It took him a while to figure out his feelings. When he did he sent a short message.
‘I would love to.’
The rest of their messages were deciding a time, Buck made sure to set an alarm. He sat in his bed for a few minutes before deciding to go see Maddie. He knew she would listen to him, and he knew he should consult her before everything.
He was parked in the front of the hospital, he checked the time to ensure it was still visiting hours, and he went inside. He spoke to the receptionist at the front desk and went to see his sister. She was watching something on tv when he got into the room, and immediately she looked at him, turning off whatever she was watching.
“Buck? I didn’t know you were visiting.” She sat up.
“I wasn’t planning on it.” He answered as he sat down in the chair near Maddie.
“Okay. So it’s a surprise for both of us?” She looked and sounded confused.
“Yeah. Maddie? I need advice?” He looked around the room as he spoke, not wanting to meet Maddie’s eyes.
“Okay. I can’t really give you advice if you don’t tell me what you need advice on.” Maddie sat up straight.
“It has to do with Hen.” He sighed.
“Okay. Continue?” Maddie began sounding worried.
“She invited me over for dinner, with Karen and Athena.” He paused. “I agreed before really processing the question.”
“Alright. Why did you agree without thinking or processing the question?” Maddie had shifted herself to get a better look at Buck.
“I was excited to be back, I had missed Hen and I missed Athena. I just, I don’t know. I was thinking about the fact that Hen wanted to talk with me.” He sighed looking down at his lap.
“I understand that… I don’t know how to help you though.” She frowned a bit.
“I don’t know if I wanted advice or if I just wanted to talk to someone.” Buck paused. “Should I cancel on her?”
“If you want to, it depends on how you feel. If you want to, you can, but if you don’t want to, don't cancel. Are you just nervous?” They both knew the answer to that question, and neither of them wanted to say it out loud. Maddie didn’t want to seem as though she was accusing Buck, and Buck didn’t want to make Maddie feel bad about everything again.
“I think I’m still upset about everything Maddie.” Buck admitted.
“I understand that, and you have every right to be.” She reached her hand out a bit. “And you’re okay to be upset. You realize that right?” Her voice went from worry to a motherly comfort.
“I feel like I can’t, you know? It feels like I’ve been mad too long.” He looked up at Maddie.
“You can be mad about it forever if you want Buck. None of us really deserve you to not be upset, and none of us should be upset with you if you stay upset forever.” She paused to take a long, deep breath. “We didn’t talk to you for three years, we didn’t try and respond when you communicated. I mean, I’m surprised that you even decided to visit.”
Buck nodded along.
“Maybe try to talk to Hen about it tonight, unless you decide to cancel. Though I know you won’t.” She smiled softly.
She was right about Buck not canceling, he had left Maddie’s hospital room and went to the hotel to figure out himself before getting ready to go over and eat with Hen. He knocked on the door, and Karen opened it. She smiled and welcomed Buck inside.
“Hi Buck. Come on in.”
YOU ARE READING
Mistakes (Rewrite)
FanfictionThe whole mess of leaving started because Buck was mad. He hated the fact Bobby kept him from something he held and loved so dearly, and he hated that Bobby didn't seem to understand what made Buck so upset. When he left, he cried. His apartment was...
