Mistakes (Rewrite)

Chapter 9

The dinner started off awkward, they had small talk but it was half hearted. Buck wasn’t as nervous as he was when he had been talking to Maddie. Karen and Hen had made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Athena had brought some stuff for a salad, and Buck hadn’t brought anything.

“So, how have you been lately Buck?” Athena started the conversation after they had sat in silence for two minutes.

“I’ve been alright. How have you been?” He glanced up from his plate to look at Athena.

“I’ve been doing well. Have you been doing anything new lately?” She asked between bites of food.

“I’ve been hiking and stuff. Oh, I also started volunteering at an animal shelter where I live.” Buck responded as he began eating and drinking the water he had been given.

“That’s interesting, Buck.” She smiled at him.

“Have you guys been doing anything new?” Buck asked, not wanting to sit through awkward silence.

“I haven’t. I’ve been working and stuff, just the usual.” Athena responded before going back to eating.

“We also haven’t been doing anything new.” Hen and Karen responded at the same time.

Though Buck hadn’t wanted silence, all four of them collectively went quiet. It took about five minutes before anyone spoke up.

“How long do you plan on staying?” Karen asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I leave Monday morning. I came down to visit Maddie and make sure she’s okay.” Buck looked around as he spoke.

“That’s understandable. How has your stay been so far?” Karen asked as she finished her food.

“It’s been okay, I hung out with Maddie yesterday. Traffic is horrible though.” Buck wasn’t hungry anymore, so he had just been either looking around or fidgeting.

“Tell me about it.” Hen groaned as she got up to take the plates to the sink. She also didn’t finish her food. “Are you done with your plate?” She questioned as she got closer to him.

“Yeah, would you like me to come help with dishes?” He asked, handing Hen his plate.

“You don’t have to Buck. You’re a guest.” She laughed slightly at the question.

“Yeah, but I feel bad not helping.” He smiled.

“You can come help if you wish. Though, Athena and Karen are witnesses to you agreeing.” She grinned.

“Shoot, I was hoping I could say you have no proof I agreed to help.” He responded as he got up, following Hen into the kitchen.

“Thanks for giving up some of your time to join us for dinner Buckaroo.” Hen said as she began rinsing plates off. “I wash, you dry?” Hen asked as Buck stood there.

“Alright, that works for me.” He responded as he stood on the right side of Hen with a dish towel.

“I am sorry for everything.” She handed him a washed plate.

“I know.” He dried the plate and set it down.

“I really am glad you came to dinner.” She washed another dish.

“I’m glad I came as well.” He dried those dishes before setting them down to be prepared for more dishes.

“I thought about everything a lot.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“What do you mean?” He asked, confused.

“I thought about the lawsuit, and you leaving. I thought about calling a lot.” She paused, handing Buck the forks.

“Why didn’t you?” He dried the forks.

“I wish I could tell you.” She shut the water off and dried her hands off.

“I wish you could to.” He also dried his hands off before putting the towel away.

“I think I was mad at you.” She inhaled.

“Why?” His heart had begun pounding.

“I was mad that you started the lawsuit.” She exhaled as she began talking again. “I was mad because I didn’t understand why you would risk it. I get it now though.”

“You do?” He held his hands together.

“I think so. Correct me if I’m wrong?” She was sat against the counter.

“Alright.” He nodded.

“It was the only way you thought we would listen.” She said, falling silent to leave room for correction. When no correction came, she continued. “You were upset that Bobby was keeping you from work, and you were mad at the rest of us for just standing by him.” She fell silent again, this time waiting for Buck’s response.

“I swear it wasn’t to hurt you guys.” Buck said gently.

“I know Buckaroo.” She looked sad.

“I just missed you guys.” He paused to wipe new forming tears from his eyes. Hen stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

“I missed being apart of the family Hen. I was mad at everyone for not seeming to have time for me. And I was even madder because Bobby lied to me, he said the fire chief said I wasn’t ready to be back for work.. I found out it was him.” He kept wiping tears from his eyes.

“I’m sorry Buck.” She took a deep breath as she wiped tears from her own eyes.

“I didn’t want the lawsuit to go as far as it did.” His shoulders sagged. “I just wanted it to snap some sense into Bobby. If I knew it would go this far I…” He sniffled, wiping his eyes again. “I wouldn’t have gone through with it, you know? I just needed you guys, and you weren’t there.” He bit his tongue to not cry.

“We should have been there.” She looked down.

“I wish you guys were.” He held himself. “I’ve made friends, but I’ve been so lonely, Hen.” He also looked down. “I want to fix things, but I am afraid to fix everything only to lose everything again. I’ve built everything up again, but there's been this void in my chest.”

Hen nodded, hoping her nod would get him to keep speaking.

“I was so mad, and I’ve been so mad. I’ve been mad every day for three years, Hen.” They both simultaneously glanced up, making eye contact.

“I hope we can fix things, Buck. I will do anything to fix it. I won’t leave again.” Hen said gently. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I want to fix things, Hen. You’re like a sister to me.” He sniffled, wiping tears from his eyes. Though his attempts to clear his eyes were futile because the tears kept streaming down his face.

“Can I hug you?” Hen also had tears streaming down her face. Buck couldn’t get himself to say anything, so he nodded. Hen hugged him, and they stood like that for a few minutes. Finally, they decided to go back to Athena and Karen, who had been sitting in the living room chit chatting.

After the dinner, Buck went back to his hotel. He went to bed, hoping to sleep off the emotions of the talk with Hen.