♥︎ ChanCheol os book ♥︎

Crush

Top : Seungcheol

Type : Cute, soft

Pov Chan

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" You're my crush, I got a crush on you."

That's clearly the sentence I want to say to my eldest, S.Coups, but I'm not saying anything because I don't want to get winded and I don't want to be in the middle of the JeongCheol. Yes, I'm the kind of person who reads a lot of comments from our adoring fans, I know very well that I'm not in ship with anyone, I'm sidelined and all the ships are sealed and padlocked impossible to find the key to destroy these duos.

Honestly, I really like Jeonghan and Seungcheol hyung's complicity too, but I can't help feeling slightly sad when I see my crush not interested in me at first, or at least not in the way I'd like, and I don't even know why, I don't even know why, how or when I developed a crush on him, he's probably the member I have the least contact with and the least time with, he obviously takes care of me like a good elder, but we don't talk more than that, in the 95s I have more of a bond with Joshua.

Maybe I should talk about it with Joshua, he'll probably be able to help me, I'm afraid of being judged but I need to get it out in the open, normally my eldest isn't the type to criticize, be mean and judge but you never know, I'm going to tell him anyway that I'm gay and attracted to the oldest in our group - they're not little secrets after all. As I'm thinking about how to talk to Joshua, I hear my door open, so I turn my head towards it and see Seungcheol standing in the doorway.

I ask him what he wants and my eldest just replies that they're all going out for a drink at the bar, and he asks me if I feel like coming along, I sigh slightly I didn't feel like going out but I don't particularly feel like staying alone in the dorm either, so I tell my crush that i'm coming, I get up from my bed and take off my T-shirt so I can put on another one, I feel a burning gaze on me so I turn my head and see that Seungcheol is still there.

I can't help blushing, fucking shyness, even though my eldest has already looked at my body many times, I'm not the type to hide it, but since it's just me and him, I feel weird, so I hurry up, put on another top and tell my eldest that we can go, it's at the sound of my voice that he seems to come back down to earth, he tells me that yes, we can go and he runs one of his hands through my hair. I don't like it when he does this because my heart really doesn't want to be in my ribcage any more, it's so loud that I think even Seungcheol can hear it.

Finally, we both join the members in the living room and since everyone's there and ready, we head off. On the way I stay close to Joshua and my eldest feels it so he puts an arm behind my shoulders and we stay like that all the way, out of the corner of my eye I see Seungcheol and Jeonghan teasing and having fun together, it bothers me greatly but I don't intend to say anything.

We arrive at the bar and I'm surprised to see that there's no one there. Seungcheol explains that he's reserved the bar so that it's just the thirteen of us, and it's only then that I realize that we're really just friends, our staff isn't there, we're really alone, and it feels good to be free. We all settle down around a table and I decide to take a seat next to Joshua, which I wasn't expecting, but Seungcheol comes and sits on the other side next to me.

I pretend this doesn't affect me but in reality I'm sure I'm red, it's always like this when he's too close to me, I decide to forget his presence by drinking, obviously the members tease me and tell me I'm not a maknae anymore, I drink like a real adult, I sigh at the understanding of this and instead of drinking I play with my liquid thinking. Honestly, I don't even feel like drinking or doing anything anymore, I turn to Joshua and my eldest pinches one of my cheeks.