Forever And Always(Frerard)

Chapter 18: Mikey! Don't!

CHAPTER 17:

----Gerard's POV----

The four of us sat, wallowing in our sorrows and all the day's events, in Frank's living room for hours. Ray was the first to cry himself to sleep, and I could only assume that Mikey was asleep, as his face was on his knees.

We had all cried and screamed and sobbed and thought until we couldn't anymore. We all decided it was time to go to bed. Mikey and Frank helped me carry Ray to the guest bedroom. He slept the entire way, even when Mikey accidentally hit his head on a wall. Mikey took the couch, and at 6 AM, we said good night.

I stripped down to my boxers quickly and then helped an exhausted Frank out of his clothes. He was so small, it felt like I was undressing a teenager. We crawled into his bed and cuddled together.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Gee." Such a cliche thing to say.

"Thank you."

"I love you," he offered.

I smiled and kissed his lips gently. "I love you too, Frankie." With that we both fell asleep.

And man, did we sleep. All four of us slept right through the next day, and into the night. However we all got up to pee and stuff like that, but that goes without saying.

I was awakened to the sound of someone shuffling around in a drawer in the kitchen. Things were being tossed about, but I brushed it off as someone looking for... something. I was too tired to process it fully.

At about 2AM I woke up to another loud sound. It was a very high pitched screech, and I recognized it as the glass screen door opening. Whoever it was they were in a hurry to get the door opened. Frank was still next to me, so it had to be Mikey or Ray.

I disconnected myself for Frank and slowly padded out of the room. The wood floor was cold under my feet and the door was left open. It was a cold night with the wind blowing and the dark clouds hinting at rain.

Before I could make it to the door and step into the night air, I noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table. I picked it up and unfolded it. The note contained my brother's handwriting.

It read:

Dear Gerard,

I'm sorry I've done this, but by the time you read this, it'll be too late to fix it or stop me. With the death of Mom and Dad, I realized how truly unhappy I was with my life. It was hard to get through each day. Don't think I'm making a irrational decision either. I thought this out fully and for a long time. I need to do this. I'll be waiting for you with Mom and Dad.

Love always,

Your brother Mikey

Dear God. I had just read my brother's suicide note. I dropped the note and bolted out the door onto the balcony where it had started pouring rain in buckets. There was just enough light by the moon to see Mikey's silhouette, raised up by the railing he was standing on.

"MIKEY!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

His head snapped around to look at me. His eyes were wide behind his thin glasses.

"Gerard..." I heard him whisper.

"MIKEY!! DON'T PLEASE!!!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

He just stared at me blankly. Frank and Ray appeared in the doorway, awakened by my shrieking. Frank rushed past me until he was just feet from Mikey's quivering body. We were all drenched completely from the rain, and freezing our asses off.

"Mikey, come down off of there! It's dangerous!" Frank cried.

"Don't you get it?" Mikey spit. "That's the point! I hate my life! I just lost my parents and I'm left with nothing! It's not worth it." He glanced down. Frank lived in one of the tallest apartment buildings in New York City, and on one of the top floors. The fall would break every bone in his body and kill him quickly.

It was Ray's turn to speak up. "What about me? What about Gerard? We still love you. We're still your family." Why wasn't Frank mentioned in that?

Mikey's expression softened as Ray stepped into the freezing rain. "I love you, Ray. But I need to do this."

"No you don't. I love you Mikey. More than you'll ever know! Our relationship has been a secret from the moment I kissed you in your dressing room on our first tour. And it hasn't stopped me from falling in love with you. Do you know how many fans will be devastated if you go through with this? Even more than that, Gerard just suffered the same loss you did, and he doesn't need to be dealing with your death right now too. Please Mikey. If you ever loved me, and if you love your brother, get down off that ledge and come inside."

Frank and I stood side by side, astounded. They were together? What the serious fuck did I miss? But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was that Mikey was slowly turning and bringing his foot off the ledge.

All of a sudden, as his left foot left the railing, his right one slipped and he began falling backwards. Life started going in slow motion. Before I could move, though, Ray was at his side, catching him and quickly pulling my brother on the balcony. I ran to his side and hugged him fiercely.

That night, in the freezing rain in New York City, I realized how much I loved my kid brother. And also how much he helped me when I was suicidal, when I hated life like he had described. Now it was my turn to help him. I had to grow up and be there for him. God help me if he ever went through with committing suicide.

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As I was writing this chapter, I was actually originally going to have Mikey succeed in committing suicide, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was enough death in this story at the moment. So, I'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting. Sorrynotsorry.

~Author, CPS