Exquisite

Chapter 14

I spent the rest of the night lying on my front with a wet towel draped over me to try and soothe the pain. When I woke up the next morning the redness had turned a deep shade of purple and any bleeding had scabbed over- it looked horrible.
I played the dutiful daughter for the rest of my time at home, counting down the minutes in my head til I could go back to college. Whenever dad started nitpicking or ranting or worse, I took it in silence, terrified of the damage he might do if I was anything but meek.
When Saturday morning came- time to drive back-I was ecstatic.
Dad was especially volatile that morning, as I expected. It was like he kept searching for reasons to pick a fight. I didn't rise to it- nothing was going to stop me getting out of there as quickly and as smoothly as possible.
It was like I held my breath all morning and only exhaled once I passed the sign for the next town over. I lit up a cigarette then- the first drag of it felt like it brought 'college me' back. I was free again.
My injuries made the drive quite uncomfortable, but the car seat being slightly cushioned made things just about bearable.
I loved driving, especially when I was driving away from dad. It made me feel wild and free and euphoric.
I got back before Jen. Stepping into that dorm room and closing the door behind me was bliss. I was back. I was here. I was safe again. I sat on the bed, wincing slightly at the pain but so thankful to be there.
When the door eventually clicked open and Jen appeared, I threw myself into her arms.
She squeezed me tightly, chuckling.
"Wow, that's a nice greeting," she laughed, "I feel like I'm coming back from war or something."
"I missed you so much," I mumbled into her shoulder, not wanting to let go.
"Hey, let me get in," she said, gently detaching me. She closed the door behind her and threw her bag on her bed, then took me in her arms again.
I breathed in her scent- still that cherry body spray- and savoured the feeling of her arms around me, holding me tight.
"I missed you," she stroked my hair, "It's so good to hold you again."
I nodded, starting to tear up.
She sat on my bed, beckoning me to join her. I was careful not to react when I sat- I didn't want to have to talk about why I was in pain.
"You didn't text much," she noted, "How was it?"
"Oh, you know, not great but..." I shrugged, avoiding eye contact, "I lived... did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "Yeah, it was good."
"I'm so happy we're back," I sighed.
She smiled, then leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. God, it felt good to feel her lips on mine again.  I kissed her back, my arms wrapping over her shoulders. Her strong arms held me close.
"I cannot wait," she pushed me to lie down, grinning, "To get these clothes off you."
I giggled, but inside my head I was worried- I didn't want her to see.
"I swear to god, you've not left my mind since you left on Wednesday," she said.
"As it should be," I joked.
She ran her hands over my waist, one hand finding my breast, squeezing it gently.
"Ugh, I could just touch you all day," she sighed, then suddenly landed a playful, but hard, slap on my ass.
I couldn't help it. I yelped.
"Wow, what is it?" She pulled away quickly, her eyes wide, "It wasn't that hard, was it? I'm sorry-"
"No... I... no, it wasn't you... I..." I was panicking.
"Hey, hey," she cupped my face with her hand, "Calm down... What's wrong?"
A less panicky person might have managed to just brush it off but, to my frustration, I suddenly burst into tears.
Jen looked concerned, wrapping her arms around me.
"Shhh... it's okay, you're okay," she murmured.
She let me cry, rocking me gently.
"I'm sorry," I gulped, sniffing.
"You don't need to be sorry," she said gently, "But do you think you can tell me what's up?"
"I... I..." she was going to find out sooner or later, "There was a... a little incident... at home."
"What kind of incident?" She frowned.
I sighed, "I forgot the damn bible and then I made him even madder and..." I shook my head.
"And... what?" Jen prompted.
"I... oh, fuck, I can't... I can't say it, it's so fucking embarrassing," I wiped my tears furiously.
Hesitantly, I rolled over and lifted the back of my shirt, revealing the marks that crept up on to my lower back.
Jen was silent. After a few seconds, I felt her carefully edge my sweatpants down, revealing the full extent of it.
"Jesus fucking Christ," she whispered.
"I'm sorry," I started.
"Stop," she said, "You're not apologising, no way... so... he did that?"
"Uh huh," I said quietly.
"I... with what?"
"His belt."
"Jesus."
"It's not usually quite as bad... I... I made him really mad this time."
I pulled my pants up and rolled over to look at her. She was almost tearful herself.
"Come here," she said softly, pulling me in and hugging me tight. She held me like that for a while, neither of us saying anything. I was thankful- it was just what I needed.
After a while, she spoke up, "I had no idea it was that bad babe... I thought he was just kind of strict and conservative... why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you tell someone that?" I sniffed.
She sighed, "Probably not."
I avoided eye contact with her. "Does it make you not want me anymore?"
"What?" She gently lifted my chin, "God, no. Of course not. Don't ever think that. I don't think there's much that could make me not want you."
I cracked a smile, cuddling into her. She kissed my forehead.
"Oh god," she said after a moment, "Some of the things we've done... like, the spanking and stuff... I feel terrible, was that not horrible for you?"
"It's different," I said thoughtfully, "It's different when you feel safe... like, it doesn't even feel remotely similar... maybe that's why I like it so much. I don't know, maybe it's fucked up. I guess I'm a little fucked up." I laughed sadly.
She shook her head, kissing my hair.
I let out a heavy sigh.
"Don't go there for Christmas," she said suddenly, "Please. Just... come home with me. Don't go back there."
"I think I might have to, Jen," I shrugged.
"Why? You're on a scholarship, you're not relying on him for money. Just... just don't."
"If I told him I was cutting him off he would drive right over here. I honestly think he would kill me."
"Go to the police then. Show those marks- get him locked up."
I froze. It had never even occurred to me that that was an option before.
"Look," I said, "I... I don't know. It's not always that simple... I can't... I need time to figure it all out."
She sighed, "I'm sorry... you're right, in a way... it's easy for me to say all that. I just want you to be alright."
"I know... but I am alright, right now... please don't treat me different. Everything's been so perfect with us. I just want it to stay that way."
She pulled me closer, squeezing me tight, "Nothing's changed about us. We're still the same. Don't worry."
"And don't treat me like I'm fragile or different... being with you is the first time I haven't been the weird girl. I don't wanna feel like I'm weird again."
"I promise," she took my hand and squeezed it, "Nothing changes."
I leaned in and kissed her lips, "Good. I love you."
"I love you too."
"What I would welcome is your usual comfort tactics," I laughed, "Snacks and a movie?"
She chuckled, "I could even do you one better- have you had dinner yet? I'm starving."
"So am I, actually," I realised.
"How about Chinese food?" She suggested.
"Sure... Chinese food aaaand..." I thought for a second, "A horror movie."
"A horror movie?" She laughed, "Is that comforting?"
"Yes!" I insisted, "Like a good, classic horror... I can hide behind your shoulder, it'll be great."
"Okay," she chuckled, "God, I missed you."
I flicked through movies on Jen's laptop while we waited on the food to arrive. We ended up watching Scream. I wasn't actually scared- I practically knew that movie by heart- but I took any excuse to snuggle into Jen.
I hadn't fully realised quite how hungry I was until the food came. I hadn't eaten much at all at dad's house- lots of dry toast. Having a decent meal was bliss.
"You really were hungry," Jen observed as I inhaled my food.
I nodded, "Food options at dad's aren't exactly inspiring."
She was even more touchy-feely than usual that night, her arm almost a permanent fixture around my shoulders, her lips depositing a regular stream of kisses. It was like she was scared to let go of me, wanting to keep me safe in her arms. I wasn't complaining- I loved the closeness.
When the movie was finished and the food was eaten, I snuggled into her.
"I am full," I observed, "I have a food baby."
"Didn't think we'd be starting a family so soon," Jen joked.
"Little baby noodles," I joked back.
Jen laughed, sighing, "I wish I could always have you in my arms, just like this. Keep you safe. Look after you."
"I'm not a baby," I laughed, though I was touched, "I gotta look after myself sometimes."
"I know, I know," she kissed my forehead, "But you know what I mean."
I nodded, "Hey, I wouldn't protest to always being in your arms... It's starting to feel like home."