The Hero's Past

Speeding Because Hecate was Dumb

I was teleported to the border of Camp Half-Blood, where a Minotaur held Sally in its hand. It squeezed her and she magically disappeared. Percy threw a tantrum, bla—

THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN JASON.

In my mind, it did. Now stop interrupting me. Anyway, as I was saying, he threw a tantrum and started attacking the Minotaur. Grover was there too, but I wasn't sure if he was alive or dead. He was lying on the ground limply, looking like Nancy had thrown more than a sandwich at him. 

"Hey, Hecate?" I said, suddenly having a thought.

"What is it, wretched boy?" she asked.

Ignoring the fact that she called me annoying, I said, "Isn't this going to take forever? I mean, if you're going to show me everything he went through, and we're not past twelve, how long will this take? At least a year, right?"

"Huh. You're right. I'll fix that."

Suddenly, I wasn't on Half Blood Hill anymore. I had glimpses of Percy and a blond girl (Annabeth?), Percy a blond boy, Percy and another blond girl (why does he know so much blondes?), that blond girl almost shoving Percy's head down a toilet, that girl getting soaked, the other blond girl staring at Percy—

Inhale . . . Exhale . . .

—Percy absolutely dominating the second blond girl, Percy killing Medusa, Percy escaping the Underworld, Percy defeating Ares, Percy getting bitten by some weird scorpion summoned by the blond boy who betrayed Percy, Percy surviving the bite, the end of his first summer at Camp Half-Blood.

Then I was back on Half Blood Hill. I stumbled, dizzy and nauseous and exhausted. "D-don't do that a-again, Hecate."

"Sorry."

She wasn't, that much was obvious. I was still seeing Percy's past. I saw Percy and a small cyclops trying to kill a giant, Annabeth killing the giant, Percy, Annabeth, and the cyclops killing some mechanical bulls (not that kind, they were the fire breathing kind) with the help of the blond girl from Percy's first summer—

Inhale . . . Exhale . . .

—Grover going missing, Percy finding out the cyclops was his brother (was that necessary for me to see?), my sister's (Thalia's) tree getting poisoned (that, I was mad about), Percy, his cyclops half-brother, and Annabeth going to get the Golden Fleece to save Thalia (and maybe find Grover), them sailing through the Sea of Monsters on the stupid blond guy's ship, almost getting caught, donuts, HYDRA!, wait, the blond girl went on the quest before them—

Inhale . . . Exhale . . . 

—big cyclops marrying tiny Grover, what's an empty link?, they found the Golden Fleece AND Grover!, tiny cyclops doesn't betray them?, tiny cyclops kills the big cyclops in the end!, blond girl almost gets them killed, stupid blond guy kidnaps them, IRIS MESSAGE, MR. D, BLACKJACK, Percy's smart? Camp! Thalia?

I almost lost balance. "Please tell me you're done."

Hecate laughed. "Not even close."

"Wait—!"

THALIA! New kids? NICO! Thorn? Got chalk? What the Hades? WHERE'D NICO GO?! Thorn's a tiger? Percy, don't you mess up—he messed up. DON'T ABANDON THEM, PERCY! Hunters of Artemis? HA, THORN! NO, ANNABETH! Artemis doesn't kill Percy (unfortunately. He would've deserved it). Percy doesn't get a quest? ZOE DOES—?!

Inhale . . . Exhale . . . 

This book has become absolutely BORING! You're not even explaining the details!

That's the whole freaking point!

Percy leaves camp to find the love of his life, Mr. D caught him, interrogated him, then let him go, Percy spies on Thalia, Grover, Zoe, weird hunter girl, and Nico's weird sister. Museum? Ha! He gets caught again—wait, MORE tigers? Never mind, it's a lion. Percy comes up with another genius idea, they run, meet a fishy homeless guy, IS HE A FISH? HAHA, GO WEIRD GUY!

I CAN'T BREATHE—

Zoe, you're literally the best. Nico has a dumb sister. WAIT. NO. DON'T DIE ON ME, BLANCA. Did I say her name right? Welp, she died. Sorry, Neeks.

We all know I was the better sister, anyway. 

DON'T YOU DISRESPECT BLANCA LIKE THAT—

ANNABETH'S DAD'S ALIVE? HER MOTHER'S NOT AN ALIEN? My life is a lie!

It kinda is—

Mount Others? Wtf? It's literally RIGHT NEXT TO Camp Jupiter. HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT? OMG. FREDERICK—OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS—IS LITERALLY THE GOAT. Wait, ZOE NO! 

I'm gonna cry. Can I stop now?

Yeah. I doubt anyone wants to read this trash—

-The annoyed girl and the tired boy