The Love That Grew

Ch. 13 Lonely

California

December

With a fake smile plastered on her face, Jashae tuned out the other voices in the doctor's office. Dr. Carlisle confirmed that she was, in fact, a few weeks pregnant, and Tahiri, asking the doctor questions a mile a minute, was ecstatic.

"Will I still be able to fly?" Jashae asked, interrupting Tahiri's 50th question.

"Yes, most women are okay to travel up to 36 weeks, although they prefer not to fly so close to their due date because of nesting or being way too tired," Dr. Carlisle explained.
"What's nesting?" Xavier asked.

The doctor explained that it's something most pregnant women do closer to their delivery date, where they clean, organize, and prepare their homes for the new baby.

"Not everyone gets pregnant after the very first embryo transfer. I'm extremely excited and truly happy for all three of you. Jashae, your prescriptions should be ready downstairs. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message me on the patient site or call the office. See you all next month."

Xavier and Tahiri seemed to be in a much better space this afternoon. Jashae watched the couple flirt, hold hands, and actually look happy.

"Hey, did you want to grab a bite to eat before you get home? Alexis told me about this place called Gloria's that's to die for," Tahiri asked from the passenger seat.

Xavier cleared his throat, and he and Jashae locked eyes for a second before she declined. "No, I'm okay... I still have leftovers from dinner at the house."

Tahiri didn't push her but asked Xavier if he still wanted to go. "Not this time. I've got a few meetings lined up today, but we can go to that other place you like, Tao's, for dinner." That was enough to make her smile from ear to ear.

Xavier knew Tahiri enjoyed dressing up, and date night would be the perfect excuse to do so.

Keeping busy on her phone, Jashae played some games until they arrived at her front door. She rushed out of the car, ready to climb into bed. "Hold up," Xavier called, following her while Tahiri was lost in a phone call.

Letting out a small sigh, Jashae turned on her heels with a blank facial expression, meeting Xavier's worried eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired. See you later," she lied, fumbling with the house keys until she unlocked the door.

"Is everything alright?" Tahiri shouted from the car.

"You should probably get going... see you next month," Jashae hurried out before slamming the door in his face. The tears began to spill before she made it to her bedroom. Once there, she sobbed.

With Raynell out for the day and Xavier busy with Tahiri, she was left alone with her thoughts. Everyone was either officially taken or talking to someone but her. Per usual, she was the lonely outcast, something she'd been most of her life, so she couldn't understand why she was crying.

Not wanting to bother her grandfather with her random mood swings, she opted for one of her favorite hobbies, writing. Writing was therapeutic for her. It didn't matter if it was a short story, poem, song, or just random thoughts and manifestations, it always offered a temporary escape from reality.

She pulled out her journal and began to write, letting the words flow freely:
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**December**
Today was one of those days where I felt like an extra in my own life. The happiness on Tahiri and Xavier's faces was genuine, and I can't help but feel out of place. I should be happy for them—I'm carrying their child, after all—but the loneliness is killing me.