Cross Ur Mind || Catnipz

C.Ur.M|07

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"Remind me why you're here again after I said no?" I massaged my head in frustration. I hadn't even had the energy to clean up the house before they arrived. "Oh wait, that's right—I CAN BARELY MOVE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

Hanni ran to hug me, but I stopped her. "Oh come on booboo bear~ We just wanted to see how you were doing!" she said, pouting.

"Stop with the pet names, Hanni; don't hug me, I'm bruised all over," I said firmly, holding my hand up to her forehead to keep her at arm's length.

Haerin, standing nearby, kept a serious expression as she observed our interaction. "We'll leave right after—we just wanted to make sure you were fine," she said quietly.

We held a staring competition and everyone fell silent. 

I broke the silence with a sigh.

"I'm alright," I said, trying to reassure them. "Just a little pain here and there, but I'll manage."

"That's good," Dani said with a small, relieved smile.

"Yeah—make sure your back's covered with insurance, unnie. You're old," Hyein teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Haerin stayed quiet, her gaze fixed on me. I could sense her guilt, though not necessarily about my bruises. It was about what she had said the day before.

Hanni had to have witnessed it.

"Now now, Haerinnie, Minji might melt," she jokingly said.

Haerin chuckled, and I declined.

"Oh, come on, we're girls in a Catholic school," I replied.

And boy, did things get awkward quickly.

Hyein mumbled, "That sounds familiar..." to me.

"And that's because it is," Hanni remarked, batting me an eyebrow.

"Mom and Dad aren't home until nine. You guys can stay as long as you want. I'll be upstairs if you need me. Or if you all want, we can watch a movie up in my room," I suggested, trying to change the subject and lighten the atmosphere.

"I'll prepare the popcorn," Hyein said eagerly.

"I'll search for a movie to watch," Dani added, focusing on her phone.

"I'll assist Hyein in preparing snacks," Hanni said matter-of-factly, glancing at Haerin for a reaction.

Haerin looked hesitant but nodded. "I'll help you set up," she offered quietly.

As I started to climb the stairs, Haerin stayed close beside me, her eyes fixed on my every movement. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked quietly, concern evident in her voice.

"I am," I reassured her, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

"Just a little sore," I added, managing a small smile.

Haerin chuckled softly, but her eyes remained serious. "Let me know if you need anything," she said quietly, following me into my room.

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When we got to my room, I sought for the TV control immediately.

I looked beneath the pillows, the cover, and even under the bed!

But I was unable to locate it or even catch a glimpse of it.

I felt the bed next to me dip at that moment.

I knew it was Haerin.

I knew she was sitting beside me; waiting for me to turn around and face her.

But I refused.

This time, I feigned to search for the remote.

Her hand held the remote in front of me, asking, "Looking for this?"

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered, nervously scratching my nape, just as I was going to take the remote from her when her grip tightened.

"Why are you being like this?"

There it is.

A question meant for confrontation.

"Being like what?" I asked, keeping my fingertip just above hers as I kept my grasp on the remote.

"Like that,"

I muttered, "I don't understand what you're talking about, Haerin," as I got up to switch on the TV, but she stopped me with a hand.

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong, Minji,"

"I am telling you already—there's nothing wrong," I murmured, trying not to look at her.

"Then tell me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that there's nothing wrong between us," Haerin asked.

I heaved an exhausted sigh and did as she said.

"There is..." I trailed off, looking at her straight in the eyes.

"...nothing wrong, Haerin," I said.

Her eyes looked back and forth mine. 

I'm about to be caught lying, right?

People did say that the eyes don't lie.

She raised herself to my level, both hands now clasping mine, and said, "You're lying. Is this about yesterday?" before tossing the remote someplace on the bed.

"It isn't," I said, removing her hands from mine.

"It is,"

"I'm just- I'm not in the mood right now, Haerin. My body's aching and I feel a ton lot awful in many different ways," I deadpanned and walked towards the TV, turning it on.

"Then, I'm sorry I got you hurt or whatever it is that I did to make you feel like this." She said to me.

"Was it something about what I said? Or the things you heard while I was talking with the others?"

I stopped at that—probably answering her question.

She said, "You stopped. Was that it?"

I exhaled. I gazed up at her, saying, "What am I to you, Haerin?"

"..."

"I don't understand you—one moment we're all lovey-dovey, then the next minute, you say things that make me feel as if it all meant nothing to you," I laughed.

Slowly, I'm starting to accept who I really am.

A girl who likes other girls.

Now that I'm completely exposing myself to her, what good is it to deny?

Haerin remained silent. She stood still right in front of me.

I nodded and bit my tongue or the insides of my cheeks in an attempt to hurt myself even more than she had.

"Just as I figured," I murmured.

Once more, I sighed.

Just then, Hanni and the others barged inside the door, holding snacks in their hands.

I looked away from Haerin and said, "Now, where did you all get those?"

I giggled and Hanni said, "We're gonna be here for quite a while myhoneybunchsugarplum, Dani's found a lot of good movies to watch!"

I'm gonna focus on having a good time today.

For now.

Because I know it won't be long until Haerin and I open the topic again.

Maybe sooner than I'd expect.

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must we prolong the dilemma? or should we just make them kiss already my dear friends? >///<