An Ode to Muses to Polyhymnia

Ajax

I know I live through comparisons and type pictures in my mind,

Trapped in my own prison,

Making for a deadly escape.

I often think that if I end myself,

You'll fall back into the same patterns;

I stay alive to stop you.

I have accepted my fate.

Why do you think I live carelessly?

Or feel at peace in chaos?

I've often wondered when this ringing will end,

Or if there is more to my life than secular divination and organized lists.

I hear laughter every time I close my eyes,

Frigid winter in every touch,

And suffocate before I get the chance to wake up.