I always saw myself as a brave independent woman, that was until I met him, he was nice at first, he even offered to pay for my mortgage and I obviously said yes, I wish I knew, how could I have been so stupid to think someone actually cared about me for once.
The first time he had hit me, it was a shock, he spat hurtful words to me like “Whore” “Useless” “brat” the adreline quickly ran away and I found myself sobbing because of him, I had never been so vulnerable in front of someone before - I had in my past - it reminded me of my past relationships.
I thought back to when that dad came to me and opened up about his wife who was abusive and I had just said walk away but now I knew, I knew that it wasn't that easy, roger had taken everything from me, I wished I had never said yes to him
After the first time he hit me, he'd always be careful - making sure to always hit me in places no one could ever see, it always took a toll on me, the next day my voice would be hoarse from crying and screaming, I hated it, I hated the fact I was so vulnerable just because of him.
I tried to keep up my non-caring persona but it was becoming harder every day, I felt jealous when ever i saw winter and autumn or Reece and Marjorie - why couldn't someone love me the way Reece and winter loved autumn and Marjorie - why?
Day by day he became more harsher towards me, he took his anger on me, not only physically but sexually as well, I wondered is that how it felt for the husband that was getting abused, did it feel this bad because if it did I wished I never said anything, I wished I helped him.
Because this was hell, I hated it, I was becoming more vulnerable by the day, I couldn't keep up with my appearance, the only thing that was the same was my hair, I was becoming more nicer to people, everyone noticed the change, I think Marjorie noticed the most.
I hated being vulnerable, I hated the fact that Roger was doing this to me, I never wanted to go back to him but it wasn't that easy, I couldn't leave, he owned everything, he now owned ny house, I didn't have money, I couldn't just run away, how could I? I was well and utterly alone, no one cared for me.
Roger had called me in for a meeting with Marjorie and autumn, and I almost cried at the sound of the anger in his voice, I didn't want to go so I didn't, he quickly found me and the nursery and dragged me to the office, he told me to wait there so i did, I couldn't defy him again, he walked into the office keeping up his nice and kind persona to them and said “I need to talk to Siobhan just wait here.” and then he walked out again and slammed the office door.
He gripped my arm tightly. It felt like he was crushing all my bones “Roger your hurting me.” I cried out, he didn't listen “Shut up! You disobeyed me, I told you to be here!” He shouted, I winced, I knew that it was going to be a rough night when we got home.
“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!” I sobbed turning my head to the side, he let go of my arm and tutted opening the office door and pushing me into the office where autumn and Marjorie looked at me concerned yet they didn't say anything!
They didn't say anything, that's when she knew nobody was going to help her she was in fact totally and utterly alone, she knew if roger gets worse she was going to die from his own hands.
Creds to DyingStars123 I got inspiration from their story
