I knew I needed help the moment he laid a finger on me but I was too pathetic to ask for it, the moment he slapped me time stopped and I thought is this what I deserve? For everything I've done.
I hated my body the moment he used it in a way I didn't want it to be, I hated myself the moment he changed, the moment he changed I changed, i became more vulnerable.
I need help, I've needed help for a long time but I don't want to ask for it, how could I? Everyone hated me. I had built this path out for myself, I had made my bed and now I had to lie in it.
Was it wrong that I think I don't deserve this? That i didn't deserve this abuse? That i didn't deserve what he was doing to me? Maybe but I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I need help.
