A New Chapter

eight

note: none of the kiddos in this one and it's quite a bit shorter but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway.

It's a little after 4:30am when she quietly climbs out of bed and makes her way through to the ensuite. She closes the door behind her before turning the light on so that she doesn't disturb Courtney. Reaching into the bin, she pulls out the pregnancy test box which is lying on the top before placing it on the counter next to the sink. Taking a deep breath, she stares at the box as she moves to sit on the edge of the bath. Her heart pounds as she debates with herself over whether or not she wants to look at the test in the box. Deep down she doesn't feel pregnant, she feels like the transfer just hasn't worked and they're going to need to try again but if that is what the test says, if the test comes back negative then it suddenly makes that all real and she'll need to process that.

'Le...' Courtney says sleepily as she knocks on the bathroom door before opening it and peeking her head inside.

'Can I come in?' Courtney asks and Leah nods her head.

'Mm-hmm...' Leah replies. Making her way into the bathroom, Courtney sits on the edge of the bathtub beside the blonde and rests her hand on her thigh.

'Talk to me...' Courtney says softly.

'I don't know what I want to do. If we look at this test and it's negative then I just- I don't want to have to deal with all the emotions that are going to come with that.' Leah admits biting her bottom lip as the brunette nods her head.

'It's hard, bubs. Remember the rounds that didn't work prior to us having Charley? They were hard and I'm not saying we should look at the test today or tomorrow but we are going to find out the results in a few days when we go for the blood test so we're going to need to process them at some point, aren't we?' Courtney asks.

'Can you look at it?' Leah almost whispers.

'If you want me to. If you don't want to look we can wait for the blood test, bubs. There is absolutely no pressure to take a test before the official day.' Courtney says.

'No, I want to. I want to know.' Leah replies.

****

'Morning, Kyra. Do you want some breakfast before Caitlin picks you up for your rehab? I'm making eggs for the girls?' Courtney asks as the Aussie makes her way into the kitchen.

'Please... Thank you for letting me stay last night.' Kyra says and Courtney immediately shakes her head.

'You know you're welcome here anytime, Kyra.' Courtney replies.

'Where's Leah?' Kyra asks.

'She's still in bed, didn't sleep well last night so I've told her to stay in bed and I can deal with the girls.' Courtney replies.

'Is she okay? She was quiet yesterday.' Kyra asks and Courtney nods her head.

'Yeah, she's fine. She was just feeling a little bit emotional because it was Charley's birthday.' Courtney replies causing Kyra to smile.

She's such a good mum, isn't she? I hope if I have kids I can be a mum like her.' Kyra says softly. Smiling, Courtney nods her head as she glances over her shoulder at the brunette.

'Mm-hmm... She's the best mum.' Courtney replies turning her attention back the eggs cooking in the pan.

'Are you back at work today?' Kyra asks and Courtney shakes her head.

'I was supposed to be but we're not busy so I've just extended my holiday.' Courtney replies continuing to cook the breakfast.

****

Sliding into bed next to the blonde, Courtney sighs as she wraps her arms around her wife and pulls her to rest on her chest. Immediately, the blonde's hand grips onto her t-shirt as tears continue to stream down her cheeks.

'How you doing, bubs?' Courtney asks softly.

'I can't seem to stop crying.' Leah replies.

'That's okay... Remember we said this morning that it's okay to feel all the emotions?' Courtney says.

'I just didn't expect to feel this.' Leah replies.

'And that's okay. Emotions can affect us in all different ways.' Courtney says kissing the top of the blonde's head.

'Sorry I left you to get the kids ready this morning... Did Charley go to nursery alright? How did Kyra get to training?' Leah asks.

'Charley was absolutely fine, very excited to play with the new mud kitchen they've got. Katie and Caitlin picked Kyra up and took her because they had training anyway... You've got absolutely nothing to apologise for, bubs.' Courtney replies.

'But we normally do it together and you had to do all three on your own.' Leah says causing Courtney to smile.

'And you've done all three on your own before, haven't you? I promise it was absolutely fine... Plus, you've got the important job of growing our baby now, don't you?' Courtney says softly, a small smile appearing on Leah's face.

'I still can't believe it... I was so sure that it hadn't worked.' Leah almost whispers.

'Mm... Your face was an absolute picture this morning. I wish I could bottle that up and look back on whenever I want.' Courtney says smiling.

'Mm... I wish I could look back on that moment when I feel less like I'm teetering on the edge of a breakdown.' Leah admits.

'It'll settle down. It's just your hormones being all out of wack.' Courtney replies.

****

Her entire body shakes with each sob as she wraps her arms tightly around her knees pulling them as close to her body as possible. She can vaguely hear Courtney's footsteps rushing up the stairs and into the bedroom after receiving a distraught text from the blonde just minutes ago.

'Le... I just got your message. What's happened?' Courtney asks rushing into the bathroom before letting out a gasp at the sight in front of her.

'Fuck... What's happened?' Courtney says softly as she immediately bends down in front of the blonde and rests her hands on her knees; she can tell this is more than the usual hormonal break downs they've been dealing with recently.

'I-I- Ugh I can't.' Leah sobs as she throws herself forward into Courtney's arms and buries her head in the crook of her neck.

'Take your time, bubs... I've got you. The girls are distracted, there's no rush.' Courtney says softly, her hands gently running up and down the blonde's back. She's not sure how long they sit there, the only sound being Leah's muffled sobs until she utters those words that absolutely terrify her.

'I'm bleeding.'