𝐀 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

08

The room felt completely cold and pitch dark as Yuvaan slowly opened his eyes. It felt like someone was stabbing his head with a hammer.

"F*ck" His head felt heavy as he slowly tried to sit while opening his eyes , but all his actions momentarily stopped and his breath seemingly stopped seeing Nimrat's face just inches apart from him.

All the flashback of the previous night played in his head like a movie , his anger , her tears and their marriage.

How would you describe a feeling of numbness? Is it something which makes you emotionless or something which makes you empty? Does it kill your inner self or just makes you ruthless? For Yuvaan , it was beyond everything.  The feeling of having everything but at the same time having nothing. The feeling of wanting to smile but couldn't.  The feeling of trying to be happy but couldn't . For him , this was numbness , something that he was feeling at that moment.

When was the last time when he slept this peacefully , without any worry or any nightmare? In his memory , it was yesterday night. When he was in her arms. But does it matter? What was he even thinking while breaking down in her arms? Who gave him the right , after making her life a hell , destroying her peace , even after knowing everything about her and her feelings , he constantly hurted her , just to protect himself and than at the end took her shoulder for comfort . How much pathetic will he become ? How much low will he stoop ?

Everything is already destroyed . They are married , without her consent,  without her happiness . Even after all these feeling , all these emotions , does it matter? Its not like she would love him again . She would probably pity him . That's how it has always been right. That is what he is made for , pity. She would never accept it . Eventually everything will fall apart at some point . It has to end. He can't just destroy her life .

He knew everything . You don't cry because of the people you love and the dried tear stains of her said it all.

His hand traveled to her cheek. His fingers slowly brushing over her soft skin before he cupped her face in his hand , softly and slowly. Afraid to hurt her more when she already was , because of him. His thumb slowly caressing her skin as he closed his eyes and joined their foreheads.

"I tried . Tried really hard to convince myself , that all of this is fake , these feelings , this raging beating of my heart. That all of this is just my illusion ,  that.......that its not the reality-" he whispered,  his voice cracking in between before he continued -"but now being here , in your arms , this is when I realized that you are my only reality Nimrat. That all those feelings , those raging heart beats are my reality , the most beautiful reality" he confessed.

Yuvaan slowly opened his eyes , gazing at her peaceful face which was shining more in the dim lights of the room. A bitter smile forming on his lips at his life's irony. That even after all this , he didn't had the power to confess on her face , rather he said all this while she was asleep.

"I-I am sorry" As those words escaped from his mouth , he slowly carried her in his arms and layed her on the bed before covering her with the comforter . As he was about to move away , he found her hand wrapped around his as she slept peacefully , unaware about the storm she was causing in his heart. Yuvaan breathed rough before releasing a shaking breath . His jaw clenched , as tightly as it could , to prevent the unshed tears which filled his eyes .

Realization is the most beautiful form of reality but only till we meet it early because Realization when the time is too late is the most dangerous reality of our lives and At that moment , Yuvaan realized that he had only two things in his heart , Hate for himself and a dangerous yearning for Nimrat.