Broken Trust

Chapter 33

The past couple of hours we have been driving still around town. It was comforting, hearing the rain patter against the windows, and seeing the faded streetlights all the while sitting in a car with my best friend who I might have unexpected feelings for.

The driving suddenly came to a stop, and we were in this random parking lot. It was pitch black out except for the one streetlight in the parking lot, and the never-ending rain pouring onto the car.

"Why are we stopping here?" I looked out the window perplexed, then try to see his face, but it was hard to because it was so dark.

"We need to talk." He sighed. The streetlight was blaring on my face to where I couldn't see any movements he might be making, or any face expressions.

"About...?"

"Us." He replied immediately. I could feel my palms begin to sweat, and my brain going to a million topics that he may want to discuss. My heart raced with fear of what he had to say.

I gulp, "What about us?"

"Lillian, I love you." I could slightly see the silhouette of his head tilt, and I felt his hand intertwine with mine.

"I know Alex, I love you too." I barely chuckled out.

"No Lillian, I don't think you understand." Huh? What do I need to understand?

"I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for who knows how long. I have just always been so afraid to admit it because of our long-lasting friendship, and I was afraid that my feelings would ruin it." He paused.

"My being in love with you was the reason I acted so weird during our tour era with John. How he treated you, how he wanted you, and how he made you pick either me or him... I felt so betrayed when you picked him, but my feelings could never go away knowing how long I've known you." He let out a long sigh holding my hand in his.

"I was so stressed to the point that I just got drunk, and I guess slept with girls while drunk, but I didn't even know. I was saddened, and I was afraid of losing you ever since you met him, and then I did lose you-but now I have you." He added.

I bit my lip and looked at our intertwined hands making sense of all his words. It all made sense, everything did. Ever since John had come into my life, Alex's behavior changed. Then, stupid me, left him without realizing it. I shook my head just thinking about it.

"I feel so stupid." I whispered to him, not taking a chance to make eye contact with him even though I could barely see him.

"No, Lillian, you aren't stupid. He just manipulated you, and it's normal for someone to not notice manipulation in the beginning. It was all John's doing, not yours. I blame him." I felt relief wash over me instantly after he said that. He always knew how to calm me down.

"Thank you for being honest with me about your feelings." I told him, I was still looking down until he brought my face up with my chin.

"Do you have anything else to say? If not, that's okay." He said.

"Uhm- well, ever since I got here, I began to feel something for you, and I can't explain it. I'm not sure if just I want someone because I just got heartbroken, or if I truly want you." I was confused with my feelings, and I didn't know what to do.

"What did you feel when you first saw me." Thank God, the light was orange tinted, so he couldn't see my blushed cheeks.

"Uh, I felt adrenaline, but not nervous adrenaline, exciting adrenaline. I felt exhilaration, I felt as if I breathed for the first time." I paused.