𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐘, carrington

004. "okay"

january 21, 2024
C A R R I N G T O N

NOW PLAYING:
THE WAY THINGS GO
beabadoobee

i had just got off a very long, loud, and annoying call with my girlfriend stacy. after camis release of peter losing wendy (deluxe) she lost her shit.

in her defense all the songs were clearly about her, i mean i had yet to listen to them but looking at instagram comments i could tell.

i decided to listen to them, starting with better than revenge. i already find myself laughing at the intro, but continue to listen.

i bop my head to the beat of the song, certain parts sticking out to me like "she's better known for the things she does on the mattress" and "she's not a saint and she's not what you think she's a actress"

i get to the second verse still fully invested. "but no amount of vintage dresses gives you diginity" i remember stacy was pissed about that and "show me how much better you are"

i'm now at the bridge, "you might have him but i'll always get the last word" i let out a deep sigh at that. i fumbled hard.

i had chosen girlfriend next, and i knew stacy was most mad about this one so i was ready for it.

as i hit play i already like the beat playing, it was fun. the lyrics however, i can see why she was mad.

"hey, hey, you, you i don't like your girlfriend
no way, no way, i think you need a new one" was the opening line.

i smile to myself a little and keep listening. my eyes widen as i listen to the verses, "she's like so whatever you could do so much better i think we should get together now"

when hearing cami, my cami sing those words my heart almost jumped out of my chest. does this mean i still have a chance? that i didn't fumble that
hard?

i started noticing how in this song she stopped holding back, letting out all her anger towards stacy.

"make your girlfriend disappear, i don't wanna hear you ever say her name again", "in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger cause i can do it better" , and "shes so stupid what the hell were you thinking"

i sit in shock listening to this, the cami i used to know was never this mean. even though stacy deserved it.

i listen to thank u aimee and dead to me and they're both good. only a few lyrics stood out to me but i still liked them and how cami was sticking up for herself.

it made me a little mad that stacy was mad at her for releasing those after she released pacify her.
i knew how stacy could get though so i wasn't suprised.

but that made me think, i shouldn't have to expect her to react that way. i always knew that stacy was not a nice girl but i didn't do anything about it, why?

it shouldn't be the standard when she over reacts and starts to do crazy shit. why have i kept up with this for so long?

well deep inside me i knew, but i couldn't admit it to myself, the real reason why i hadn't left stacy yet.