𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐘, carrington

008. she isnt you.

april 30th, 2020
C A M I L A

NOW PLAYING:
DRESS
t. swift

december 10th, 2015 was the day that carrington admitted to having a crush on me. and even though our short term relationship ended three weeks later, because girls were gross and boys had cooties, my feelings hadn't changed one bit.

we were still best friends, and we had even grown closer over time, but i'm afraid either of us will ever have the courage to admit our feelings ever again.

that feeling made me feel uneasy, but i knew it was true. right now my best friend, nadia was straightening my hair for prom. and i was doing my makeup in the vanity mirror.

i look to my right, a picture of my and carrington in a photo booth was tucked into the side of the mirror next to a polaroid of me and nadia.

my gaze falls down a little, feeling upset i wasn't going to prom with him. when i look back up i see a "c+c" written in sharpie on my bed post, i had written it there on the night of sophmore homecoming.

it was when he walked me to the door step and kissed my cheek when telling me goodnight, that was when i knew i wanted him to be more then my best friend.

but the only problem was he was going to prom with paige william, the nicest girl i had ever met. and she was breath taking she had shiny black hair that rested just under her shoulders, her skin always puff like pastry, she always wore ribbons in her hair, my rotten mind basically worshipped her and my jealous eyes fell for every little thing she did.

she was everything i wasn't, smart, caring, sweet, beautiful and so many more adjectives, but that won't do her justice, it's like she's made of angel dust.

i knew he had liked her for awhile, most guys did. i figured that i wouldn't have to worry, i mean she was paige, the paige williams and he was my carrington.

i mean yeah he was popular, and a lot of girls liked him but in this world was just us, but recently its not the same as it was. we were still close, but i had been distancing myself from him.

i had to fight the feelings before our whole friendship crumbled. "bitch stop worrying about him, you're way hotter and it's his lose you guys aren't going together" nadia tells me when she notices that my mood has suddenly dampened.

i smile and look at her through the mirror, "i love you so much" i giggle a little. she always knew how to make me feel better.

but i was not excited to watch them all night, we had to leave soon to go take pictures with them and a few other friends, nervous was not doing my feelings enough justice.

not only nervous to watch them, but nervous for my own date. carrington had set me up with his friend, which was also my friend who he knew i used to like. i had assumed that's why he tried to set me up with him but i didn't wanna go with him.

even though i had said yes when he asked me in the parking lot i couldn't say no. not when carrington was watching me with paige from the side, cheering both of us on.

it hurts even worse when i remember what happened a few nights ago.

the car was sitting at the bottom of a hill, it was pouring down rain and carrington had made the decision to pull over, but when a tree branch falls in front of us he swerved off the road.

now the car had it a semi big rock and we were stuck in the mud, the rain not calling down at all. we sit in quietly waiting for his dad to come. new year's day by taylor swift plays on the radio quietly as we sit there.