Middle Child Syndrome- Ian Gallagher

we found him

I wish I could tell you that's where it all ended. That I just smoked a bit of weed and that was it. But it wasn't. We went to two other parties while I was in California, and I continued to consume whatever I could get my hands on. Weed, pills, coke, Xanax. Anything. 

The best part? Mia and Sophie weren't even trying to make me stop. 

However, no matter how much I took, no matter how high I got, afterward, my brain always went back to Ian. It was a vicious cycle. Get high, forget about Ian, sober up, remember Ian and how shitty I feel. 

I blamed myself for all of it too. If I had just calmed down and listened to him, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe he wouldn't have run off and maybe I still would've been sober. No, that's not a maybe. I would've never relapsed if he hadn't left. I know, it's a shitty thing to say, but it's true. 

I missed him so much. He was the first boy I ever truly loved. 

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After a week in sunny California, I returned to wintry Chicago. I'd only been gone a week, but everything felt so different, especially with school starting up again.

Lip was in college at a STEM-centered school nearby, Troy got a full-time job as a manager at the supermarket, and Ian was still MIA. 

And then there were Debbie and Persephone, who were acting like stuck-up bratty teenagers. Persephone started having such a fucking attitude with my mom too, and I could tell my mom was getting fed up with it, but it also tore her apart. Her youngest kid who used to be her baby was turning into a snotty teenager who hated her. 

My days were pretty much the same. Wake up, go to school, come home, eat dinner, and go out with Troy to smoke. He was okay with me smoking, and he promised to not tell our parents as long as I didn't tell them about him having to pay for a girl's plan B.

It was all the same until one night. One night that finally snapped me out of it. 

My mom made lasagna that night, and everyone was at the table except for Persephone.

"Liz, where's your other daughter?" my dad said.

"Across the street," she said, "It's Fiona's birthday. Athena, why aren't you there?"

"Why would I be?" I said coldly, "I wasn't invited, and I haven't spoken to them since Ian left."

"I'm just asking," my mom said defeatedly. 

"I'm sorry," I said, immediately feeling bad for how rude and snippy I sounded. 

My mom and dad talked about something related to work while I ate. My parents were actually doing better than ever. I just hoped it stayed that way. 

The food was good, but I wasn't hungry. I still ate it, though. I'd lost a lot of my appetite recently, and also a lot of weight. Probably five pounds. When I was deep in my addiction, I was practically skin and bones. It was horrible, and I never wanted it to get that bad again.

I took a bite of salad when I heard ambulances from outside. Troy got up, and I followed suit, knowing it was most likely the Gallaghers. 

I threw on my coat and ran across the street. Sure enough, the ambulances were pulled up outside of the Gallaghers, and everyone was outside.

"Persephone?" I said, finding her immediately. 

Persephone turned around, her face tear-stained and lip trembling.

"What happened? Are you ok?" I said, holding her face in my hands. 

"Liam," she said, "He got into Fiona's coke."

I looked over and saw the EMTS putting Liam into the ambulance, and Fiona getting in with him.

"I'll get the truck!" Kev said.

____________________________________________________________

We arrived at the hospital and sat in the waiting room. The air was tense and anxious, and no one knew anything yet.

"They won't let me back there," Fiona said to Lip, "I was watching him at the party. I thought he was in the living room."

Lip looked both terrified and angry. Terrified for Liam, and angry at Fiona because it was her coke.

"Who's Fiona?"

We turned around and saw two cops walking our way.

"That's me," Fi answered.

"Put your hands behind your back."

"What?"

The police began to handcuff her.

"Fiona Gallagher, you have the right to remain silent."

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's going on?!" Kev protested.

My eyes widened as I watched the scene unfold.

"You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand your rights as I've read them to you?"

The cops took her away, and everyone followed except for Lip, who grabbed my jacket sleeve before I could continue walking. 

"What?" I said to him.

"Athena, we found him."

"Found who?"

"Ian."