dead or alive - The Cullens : On hold

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chapter; thirty

act three; twilight - eclipse

AFTER THAT, ELEANOR EXCUSED HERSELF TO GO ON THE BALCONY WHERE SHE WAS WITH ROSALIE AND BELLA MOMENTS BEFORE. Eleanor had venom in her eyes. Tears that'd never escape. Becoming a vampire was something she hadn't dreamt of. This wasn't a lifestyle she'd anticipated her whole life, unlike a particular human forced into her life.

Her daughter would grow up like she did, unsure of why she was so different from her family and the weird looks she'd receive due to her family's enhanced looks, and god like beauty. Whilst as beautiful as she may be, she remained ordinary and stuck out.

"Oh, Em." Eleanor whispered, looking down at the sleeping baby in her arms. "Mum and Dad would've loved you. From what I've heard, they adored babies because of their purity and innocence. Something we should preserve. But they'll never get to meet you." Eleanor began to choke on her words.

Her parents were a tough subject for her. And what pained her even more? She has zero memories with her parents. They never got to watch her grow up, and even worse, they'll never get to meet Emily.

All the stories of her parents, with or without Eleanor, she's heard numerous times from her second family. Eleanor had practically tortured herself many times by begging to hear about her parents, and it pained her to have no memory of their faces. She only knew what they looked like from very detailed descriptions and shitty photographs.

When Eleanor died, it struck a deep pain she thought she'd freed herself from. She told herself they died quickly, but considering how similar the crash was to her parents and the agony Eleanor felt in her last moments, she highly doubted the motto she'd told herself for years.

"It'll get better." A voice from behind startled Eleanor.

"Jazz." A smile appeared on her face, as she wiped the venom from her eyes. Alice appeared at the door seconds later, offering to take the baby to give them a moment alone.

After a few seconds of silence, Eleanor broke. Her knees gave in, and Jasper caught her before she could fall completely. He positioned them on the floor and held her in his arms. "I know it hurts. Believe me, I know. But it'll get better. You'll overcome all of this, the pain, the heightened emotions, the hunger..." Jasper listed the things that'll get better for her.

"I just- all I want is my mum and my dad. I don't remember anything about them, their faces, their voices. Nothing, and the memories of them I have... aren't even mine. They're ones I've been told." Eleanor sobbed into his arms. Everything was too much, and she wanted it all to stop. If only she could switch off the emotions she felt.

Jaspers heart went out for his little sister. During his time in the war as a trainer to newborns, he knew the heightened emotions they had and it was typically fear. And with Eleanor, there was a bit of fear but mainly sadness. So much sadness. The emotions he felt from her was enough to throw many people into a deep depression.

"It's okay, just let it all out." Jasper held her tighter, and wouldn't let go until she wanted him too.

"It hurts, I-" Eleanor felt broken. Everything that had ever happened had hit her all at once, and she felt pain within her chest. Despite not needing to breathe, Eleanor was gasping for air between her sobs.

The family could hear what was happening on the balcony, and it pained them all. Luca was about to go, but Jasper insisted he talked to her. It was a way for him to get space from Bella, and because he had experience in dealing with newborns.

"In time, it'll get better. You won't be a newborn anymore, and everything won't feel as extreme. Your emotions will return to normal, and your senses will decrease in sensitivity to that of a newborn." Jasper rubber Eleanors back soothingly.