Everything is fine when you understand

What is this feeling?...

Remus had an odd feeling inside him when James talked about the game they would play.
Of course the game was a joke, but Sirius is a famous girls man. He has been in many relationships and also have had one-night things.
But never before it hasn't done this feeling inside of Remus.
But the question is: what is this feeling?

James, Sirius and Peter came to the dormitory half an hour later than Remus.
Remus pretended to be asleep, but he absolutely wasn't.

James, Sirius and Peter talked for a moment, but then went to sleep.
They had fallen asleep, but Remus couldn't sleep. He opened the curtain a bit, which he had closed around his bed.
He looked around the room, first his gaze went to Peter's bed, which was in the right side of his bed, then to James's bed, which was on the other wall, across from Peter's bed and then to the last bed, Sirius's bed, which was next to James's bed and across from his, Remus's bed. There Sirius was sleeping, like James and Peter, but Remus only focused on Sirius.
His gaze was on Sirius for the longest time.
Then he closed the curtain again and and he laid his head on his pillow.
He still couldn't sleep, but he tried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus thinks that he must have fallen asleep somewhere in the night, because he wakes up. He wakes up to laughter from James and Sirius and shout from Peter.

He opens his curtains at the same time asking: "What's happening in here?"

"Moony! You woke up!" Sirius rejoices and runs from his bed to hug Remus.

He doesn't have a shirt, only sweatpants.

Remus's heart start to beat a bit faster, but he hugs Sirius back.

'This is annoying! Luckily Sirius didn't feel my heart beating faster' he thinks.

"Let's go to breakfast" Sirius says when he let's go of Remus.

"Yeah" James says. He already has all clothes on, like Peter.

Remus puts on socks, sweater and shoes, he already has pants.

Sirius puts on shoes, he already had socks.
They go to the door and down the stairs.
Sirius grabbed his black hoodie on his bed and put it on only when they get to the stairs.

Remus, who was in front of him turned around and said:
"Put the hoodie on already!" And finished it on Sirius.

"Are jealous of the girls who can look at me or something?" Sirius asked amused.

Remus blushed a bit (or quite lot) and quickly turned around.
"Of course not!"

James smiled very wide, but didn't laugh (it was very near), Peter snickered, and Sirius laughed.

"You are mean, I'm going with Lily" Remus said and to his luck saw her sitting in the common room reading a book.

He started to walk quickly towards her and Sirius ran after him.

"Don't take all so seriously, it was a joke, of course your not jealous" he said and they had got to Lily.

Now Remus was even angrier. No idea why.

"You have been so serious and quiet this year, even it has been only one day, what happened to you?" Sirius ask.
His hand was on Remus's shoulder and Remus shaked it off.

"Nothing happened to me! Everything's fine!! I'm fine! Now, go with the others!!" Remus shouted at Sirius.

Sirius looked startled, but left without any word.

Remus collapsed on the couch next to Lily and buried his face in his hands.

'Why I shouted at him?' Remus thinks.

Lily puts her book away and wraps her arms around Remus.

"What has gone to you now?" She whispers.

"I'm not talking about it here" Remus answered.
Now he knew what the feeling was. And he did know very well.

"Okay, well, let's go to breakfast and classes first and after classes we can meet in the library" Lily said.
"Is that okay?" She asked.

Remus nodded and put his hands away from his face.
He had one single tear on his cheek and he wiped it off.
They got up and walked throught the portrait hole and to the Great Hall.
In the Great Hall there is Sirius, James and Peter sitting in the Gryffindors table.

Remus sits quite far away from them and Lily sits across from him.

McGonagall gives them their new timetables at some point.

Remus hears the other marauders talking about their timetables.
"What do you have today?" Asked Peter.

"I have transfiguration, history of magic, defence against the dark arts, free period and divination" Sirius told to them.

'Great! Absolutely great!' Thought Remus.

Remus and Sirius have all the same classes on Monday, except the divination, Remus has ancient runes in that time.

He banged his head on the table as silently as he can.

"What?" Lily asked.

Remus handed Lily his timetable.
Lily had also heard what Sirius had said, so she understood.

"Well... it's not that bad" she tried, but failed.
Remus raised his head and eyebrows.

"It's not that bad?!" He repeated.
"How is that not bad?!"

"Well, I have transfiguration and ancient runes with you" Lily tried.

"Two classes! Not much!" Remus said, a bit louder than usual.

James, Sirius, Peter and some others near Remus and Lily turned to look at them.

Remus puts his head against the table again.

"What's wrong with Moony?" James asked Sirius and Peter when they looked away from Lily and Remus.

"I don't know, he shouted at me in the morning, I think you heard, it's not normal from Remus" Sirius said.

"Yeah, he sometimes shouts, but not much, and if he shouts then there is clear reason for it" James said and Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement.

"Something is wrong and he won't tell us what" Sirius said.

James and Peter has transfiguration, defence against the dark arts and the free period with Sirius and Remus.
Peter also has divination.

They leave from the Great Hall to transfiguration class.
They walks inside the class and sits down in the back row.

Remus and Lily comes a little while after them.
Remus glances at the other marauders, but doesn't go sit with them, he sits in the front row as far from them as he can and Lily next to him.

Soon McGonagall comes in and starts class.

They all does notes. (Except James and Sirius and Peter tries his best.)

Remus has a little problems in concentration, even when Lily is with him, helping him a bit and at some point he was about to shout, but kept it inside.

When the bell rang and McGonagall let them go Remus almost ran out of the class.

'Lupin, Pettigrew, Black and Potter are acting oddly, especially Lupin, what could have happened?' Minerva thought.

All the other classes were almost the same to Remus and in the free period he went outside to calm down and it helped a bit.

Then he had only ancient runes left and to his luck Lily is there and none of the other marauders isn't.

After the class Lily and Remus leave to the library together.

"Okay, Remus, what is the problem?" Lily asked when they were at the library and in a remote corner.

Hello.
Here is the second part, hope you like it.
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