Lost Ecstasy(Being Edited!!)

Chapter 10

Kristen's POV

Exams were almost over and I tried to stay low all through. I hadn't called Amelia yet to inform her that the spy we were looking for was Alex. I tried to follow him ever since I found out but I couldn't keep up because I was too busy studying. But so far, I hadn't found anything suspicious in his movements.

I hadn't talked to Lucy ever since I told her who the spy was, she still believed Alex wouldn't do such a thing. I wondered when she was gonna learn that you couldn't trust anyone in this world. I finally understood what my mom meant all those years ago when I'd ask her why she still stuck with my dad. She'd always pat my cheek and tell me people change, and I'd realised that the hard way.

I always believed that in this world, you just had to stick with yourself and always remember that you're your first priority. No love's gonna save or help you, no friends, nothing. So it's better to learn to live with your own company and shut yourself away from the rest of the world. It'll save you from so much pain and regret.

I felt sorry seeing so many so-called couples cuddling and thinking they were in love. What they didn't know was they were living in a fantasy world, a world made up of their childhood imaginations. I didn't believe in love, at least not after what I'd seen it do to people. I didn't consider emotions to be real much less that called love. I always believed it as this thought or feeling that you want to believe is real. So your mind and brain make you believe it is and when you've fallen so deep into that mentality, you get hurt deeply making you regret it for the rest of your life. It's what we love the most that always destroys us.

I also believed that emotions like fear, anger, and love; weren't real. We just believed they were real because we let it consume us, our mind, our whole being. We let it drive us and that's why we considered them real. But the moment you realised that that pain you were feeling isn't real and that it's just you thinking it's real, you could tame it. It might take a while but soon enough you wouldn't feel that pain anymore then using the same principles to banish away the thought of other so-called emotions, you'd be saving yourself from a whole lot of pain. You'd be emotionless and there was no denying the peace it brings.

But that all changed.

After I wrote my last paper for the semester, I decided to call Amelia and inform her about Alex. The phone rang for a while before she finally picked up.
"Hey Amelia, remember what you told me at the club the last time we met....yeah, I found our guy", I said as I walked back to my dorm.

" Finally, I've been waiting ages to hear from you. I was beginning to think you didn't find the guy".
" Yeah well, I did and it was that same night too".
" Really? Wow", she said, sounding surprised.
"So who is the guy?", she pressed on. It's not like she would know him but I just decided to tell her anyway.
"Some guy named Alex".

" What? Your friend took the book? Wow, how shocking...... anyway, I gotta go quickly but meet me at the park by 7 pm. I'll tell you what our next plan of action should be".
" Okay", I said before hanging up.

I still couldn't believe it was Alex who took the book. I also still couldn't put my finger on why he was working for bad guys or maybe he didn't know, I thought. When I got to my dorm, I was surprised to see Lucy knocking at the front door.

" What are you doing here Lucy? Exams are over, you should be partying or something", I asked in a cold voice as I unlocked the door to my room. She scoffed and said,
" Well, I was about to go to a party actually but I just came to see if Alex would like to come with me." She said with her usual cheerful attitude.
I sighed, "Well as you can see, he's not in. So why don't you run along to your party?"

" Hmmm, wonder where he could be? Oh, I know. Definitely not engaging in shady activities that's for sure", she said sticking out her tongue at me. Such a baby, I thought.
" We'll see about that pretty soon", I dropped my bag and shooed her out of the room before locking it.
"Where are you going? Exams are over, remember? Don't tell me you want to go see Amelia without me". She folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me. I didn't want her to follow me.

" I'm not. I just want to go for a stroll to clear my head after long weeks of writing exams".
" Hmmmmmmm, okay. But whenever you're going, promise to inform me about it", she said, bringing forth her little finger for a pinky promise. I just stared blankly and said,
" Sorry kid but I don't make promises".

"If you don't, I'll just follow you for your stroll and blab all the way". Ughhhh, what kind of girl was she? I hesitated before promising her but I didn't make a pinky promise.
"Yay! So I'll catch you later then. Byee!", she squealed as she left me to go to her party. I released a sigh of relief and put my hands in my pockets with my hoodie over my head. It looked like rain was going to fall tonight.

As I walked to the park, I kept thinking of what Amelia had in mind of what we were going to do next. Were we going to confront Alex to tell us about the plans the gang had for me? Was I going to keep trailing him? My mind kept reeling with these thoughts. Then suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. I suddenly remembered that I never told Amelia who Alex was to me so how did she know that he was my friend? Something was definitely not right.