The pain club

Part 4...The beach

Yet another day spent sitting in a circle talking. If this doesn't make you want to kill yourself i don't know what does. 

I had been here almost 10 days now. I had been checking in with my mom and even Ash gave a small grunt through the phone.

I wondered had i changed since i came here. The answer was no. I had not! I still feel depressed. I still have anxiety attacked. I still want to kill myself.

This place is just keeping me from doing so. But the minute i get out of her, i swear. This guys are slowly killing me.

I spend most of the time with Annie and Joe. Carla tags along too. Reece had been banned from free time for a week so i only saw him at lunch where he annoyed the hell out of everyone. He had to come to group aswell, but sit away from the circle.

"Ok everyone, i know you've all probable wondering why i gathered you here!" Ally shouted to quieten everyone down.

"Um, its group time! We're always 'gathered' here" Carla mumbled. Carla never really said much but when she did it was good to listen to.

"Ok...I have a very special announcement to make!" Ally pressed her hands together "Tomorrow, we're going to the BEACH" She practically shrieked the last word.

Annie clapped with joy. Joe was grinning from ear to ear. Carla cursed under her breathe and folded herself in more. Micheal Jackson began singing 'Love never felt so good'.

My heart broke. My palms began to sweat. My vision began to go blurry. My head ached. My stomach flipped.

All at the same time.

Ally talked on and on about what beach. What we'd do there. How long. She answered everyone's questions while i was dying inside.

"This is so exciting! Isn't Paige?" Annie cheered, bouncing up and down "I love the beach! So many fun things to do there!" She talked on.

"We...we can go swimming!" Joe announced and many of the others cheered. The beach seemed to be liked by them all. "Play in the water! Have water fights!"

My heart dropped.

"Paige, are you excited?" Annie was up on her feet now, dancing around with Joe. Joe was not a depressed person, at all. Carla shifted in her seat and said nothing.

"I..i..need..to go.." I stuttered, standing up. I felt shaky on my feet. I knew why. I had to grab the seat for balance.

"Its going to be so much fun!" Joe grinned.

"I...can't be..here" I mumbled. Carla was staring at me, with a worried look. She watched me.

"Paige, are you ok?" She asked me, standing up, reaching for me.

"Let...LET ME OUT OF HERE!" I shouted. My eyes went misty and it came flooding back. The whole god damn thing. 

"Paige?" Annie face dropped as everyone was now staring at me for screaming "Paige, is everything alright?"

My breathing became heavy and my lungs dragged down. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. Ally rushed over to me with a nurse "Paige? Paige clam down!"

I pushed them off. They kept grabbing at me. I could'nt breathe. I felt dizzy. Everyone was turning into blurring colours. I pushed them all off. I kept pushing them all off.

I held my chest as they tried sitting me down. I didn't want to sit. I wanted to get out. I needed air. I could'nt breathe. I could'nt breathe.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled, pushing one of the nurses to the floor. I could'nt really see who she was or if she was hurt. I didnt care. I needed to get out.