The pain club

Part 14...we know you.

I found my way onto a subway. I didn't know how I got on it I just kept walking. After he was...finished, I grabbed my clothes and left.

I cried the whole night just walking around. No one asked if I was ok. No one asked why I looked a mess. No one asked why I was crying.

I had a thought to go to the police station but immediately thought no. I had heard the stories of women telling all and then being blamed. And I had played along with him. I had told him to kiss me.

I deserved it.

I had lost my top in the process and so my jacket was zipped up tight to cover my bra. My trousers felt uncomfortable and I just wanted to shower but I couldn't.

I still had my money and my phone and there were so many missed calls. None from Ash though. He obviously didn't care.

I sat on the subway for awhile and got out on unknown stops just to get on another subway to somewhere else. That's where I wanted to be. Somewhere else.

By my fifth change I had managed to come back to the same station. I got off it and walked the opposite way to the alley. I found a nice park. A nice park in the centre of the city.

"What are you doing Paige?" I didn't care I was talking to myself. I sat crossed legged on a wall and I gave myself a pep talk. "What the fucks wrong with you?"

"What's wrong? What the fucks wrong with my brain? Why do you do this shit? Fuck. Fuck Paige. FUCK!" I shouted and some people stared.

"Fuck"

I turned so quick I almost damaged my neck. I recognised the voice. I needed to see a friendly face. "What are you doing here?"

Well, a Reeces face wasn't nessasarly friendly. "Not even a Hi, that's cool!"

He sat down beside me as I watched his every move. He looked so good. I know that was completely wrong to say but he must had got a hair cut. His face looked sharper, his eyes dreamer. "How did you-"

"I put a tracker in your phone."

"You what?" My smile suddenly dropped and I hit him in the chest. He held it in pain and laughed a little. "Why?"

"I thought you were going to do something stupid. You seem the type." He smiled.

"I think today's the day I punch you."

"Promise?" He smirked.

He was like all those guys in books. Not the ones in movies. Books. The dreamy caring type that was always there for the girl. I never thought I'd say that about Reece.

I placed my hand on his chest and he shifted away. "So you have a heart?"

"Shut the fuck up."

We both smiled at each other. "So how's life been?"

I hoped he wouldn't ask that. My lips wobbled and tears immediately formed in my eyes. I pulled at my sleeves, suddenly feeling so vulnerable. I shook my head. "There was this...man..."

I couldn't get out the rest. Reece who was looking at something across the park now looked at me. "Paige?" I covered my face in my hands and cried.

"Hey Paige Hey. What...what wrong? What happened?" I felt his hands go round my back and jumped away.

"I can't. ..don't. ..i'm sorry. I'm sorry." I began walking away but Reece followed.

"Ok is this a car thing or a Paige thing? Cause I don't understand." Reece questions me as I begged the world to swallow me up.

"This is not a Paige thing. This is a fucking bastard...dickhead thing..." I told him. I tried walking faster than him but Reece was fast.

"Paige talk to me. What the fuck are you on about? Are you on something?" Reece grabbed my arm. I shrugged him off but stopped.

I crossed my arms across my chest to protect it. Even it was just Reece. He tried touching my arm but I gave him a look and he moved away.

He held his hands up as if he was surrendering. "Paige. I know you're fucked up but you seem more fucked up than normal."

"I..." Tears brimmed at the surface of my eyes and Reeces normally hard eyes went soft. He still held his hands up.

Slowly he removed his large coat. A new one I might add. He placed it around my shoulders and waited till I slipped both arms in. It was too big for me but it made me feel safe.

I guess that was his aim.

I wiped my face with his sleeves and he chuckled a little. His chuckle just brought more tears to my eyes. We tried approaching me and this time I didn't push away.

His big arms wrapped around my small body and my body literally collapsed into him. My wobbly knees kept me standing.

"Jesus Paige."

We found ourselves in another park. A quieter one. Reece said I could sleep and he'd take watch.

But I couldn't sleep. The thoughts came back. Not nessasarly about the man but about me. About my depression. My anxiety. My family.

It must seem to you that I talk a lot about me. About me and my problems. It must seem to you I feel sorry for myself.

I know I talk a lot about my issues. I talk a lot about my feelings. Thing is though, I don't feel bad for me. I don't think I should or even I deserve the best life. I don't pity my life.

I just want it to end.

"I didn't think insomnia was part of ur gig." His voice broke the silence.

"I didn't think staring creepily at people was part of yours."

"Ocassionaly...if their worth staring at." He smiled in the darkness.Our eyes lingered.

We lay on top of a hill. Somewhere in the middle of Manhattan.

"Why is it that when we look up at the stars we think of all the big adventures were going to have?"

"Yeah, futuristic thinking is sick when your suicidal." He muttered, sighing a little. I chucked a little.

"I don't know. " He continued. "Human beings are weird. We touch lips when we like each other and shiver when we're cold."

"We respond to our name as if we're the only one called by it and we stare up at the stars and think the exact same thing as everyone else." He crossed his arms over his chest, touching me a bit. I didnt mind.

"....That this world we live in is bigger than us. That all our problems and issues down here are so miniature compared to what's out there. It's a universal thing." He spread his arms out "Literally, we are looking at the universe."

"If I didn't know any better, id's say you just got very deep there Reece."

"I don't like to brag."