LITTLE RUNAWAY // Benson Boone x OC

Los Angeles

WARNINGS
•mentions of depression
•religious mentions (specifically Christianity)

July 5th 2020
[Jailah's P.O.V.]

I packed the rest of my clothes and personal hygiene utilities into my suitcase. I lifted it off of my bed and almost dropped it. It was heavy just as my heart was. Only my heart was heavier. My heart was the heaviest it'd ever been and probably ever would be.

It'd been a day since the tragic, unforgettable incident occurred. Not once was my mind free of the horrific scenes I'd witnessed first hand. I had dreamt of the shooting all over again and woke drenched in my own sweat. But nothing prepared me for the call at 2am saying that my father's body had been found cradling my mother's. I had immediately broken down into a fit of tears. It left me questioning everything in my existence.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do without them here but I knew that I couldn't take the easy way out. I knew that all three of them would want me to take on the pain and go through the motions. They would want me to experience the world. They wouldn't want me to mercily end mine.

I wheeled my luggage behind me and out to my car. With a puff of breath I slammed the trunk of my car and got into the driver's seat. I started the car and began backing out of my childhood home's driveway. Nostalgia wafted over me and lingered in the air long after I had made it out of my neighborhood be. There wasn't any other way to describe how I felt other than feeling like I'd just had my entire world flipped upside down. I was numb, more than likely I was depressed.

I didn't have an appetite at all, I slept like crap last night and my mind only thought of the recurring nightmare of a day I had witnessed yesterday. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and just cry as self pitiful as it sounded. All I knew was that I would never let someone get close to my heart again. And if they did I would run away so if something happened to them it wouldn't hurt as bad.

I turned up the radio of my car as I made my way onto the freeway. The call I received at 2am last night had also informed me that I would be staying with my aunt and uncle on my father's side. They lived in LA which was about two hours away from Santa Barbara...thankfully. Hopefully I was on my way to greater things in the city of LA.

It scared me though. Not having any of my friends with me. I would be completely lost, clueless, and lonely in LA. I always struggled with making friends as a kid and still do sometimes. I'm kind of shy, it's not like it's anxiety it's just I don't like people that much. Although, I like to party. But, anytime I was at a party I stuck to the corner of the wall and waited for someone to start a conversation with me. It wasn't the socializing part that made me enjoy parties it was the atmosphere of them. It doesn't make sense, I know. At this point nothing makes sense anymore.

I hadn't even told anyone about my family yet. Nor did they need to know, it was a heavy load to dump onto people. To be honest, all of my friends were pretty busy with their own lives at the moment. I hadn't heard from Fiona, my closest friend for over a month. It was sad, but it was just part of growing older. You experience less joy, you slowly lose people you had thought you'd always be super close to. It was just part of life.

Fiona and I had grown extremely close over the past few years. We met in freshman year of high school and instantly clicked. We were like two peas in a pod. She brought out my more adventurous side due to her extroverted personality. She was also super super funny. She told a lot of dad jokes. My personal favorite is, 'Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator? In case there's a salad dressing inside.' Now, I had to admit the first time she said that to me I laughed pretty hard but after a while it just stopped being funny.

I continued down the road when a song I'd never heard rang through the speakers.

Sunday mornings were your favorite
I used to meet you down on Woods Creek Road
You did your hair up like you were famous
Even though it's only church where we were goin'