Haewon Imagines (gxg)

out of love (requested)

"Just go to sleep, Y/N," Haewon mumbled and pulled away from you when you tried to cuddle her from behind.

Her back was facing you as she tried to fall asleep but that wasn't new at all to you, just like how she keeps pulling away from you any time you try to initiate any sort of affection.

There's an emptiness inside your heart that seems to become more intense each day.

You can't remember the last time Haewon has wanted to hold you or kiss you and it's brought upon insecurities and a deep sadness that you've never felt before.

"I'm not tired." You quietly spoke. "Can't you just hold me?"

She let out a sigh before rolling over to face you.

"I don't want to. I just want to sleep."

Your heart dropped as the words left her lips.

"You never want to hold me anymore." You mumbled before sitting up and reaching over to turn the light off.

"Y/N, come on. I don't want to do this tonight."

"You and I both know you won't any other night either." You said with a harsh tone and she sat up before rubbing her hands across her bare face. "Do you hate me?"

"Of course I don't hate you. I could never hate you." She replied but didn't even try to look into your eyes as she spoke the words.

"You're a terrible liar." You grumbled.

"I don't hate you! But I don't love you anymore either! Is that what you want to hear?"

Your heart's felt pretty broken for a while now but it shattered the rest of the way as soon as she confessed her true feelings for you.

"You think I want to hear that?" You asked. "You mean that? You don't love me anymore?"

She was quiet as she played with her fingers nervously before looking at you.

"No. I don't."

You let out a shaky breath as tears stung your eyes.

"I don't know why I haven't told you sooner since it's been so long now that I've felt this way. I think part of me didn't want to tell you because I did love you, Y/N. Very much. But now it just feels like the spark we once had disappeared. I care about you. But I don't love you."

It was hard to hear but at the same time, it did feel relieving to hear her say aloud what you've been suspicious of for a while.

"We spent three years together. I loved you for a long time and I loved you more than I ever thought I could love someone. If we're being honest, it's not anything you said or did. It's just the feeling faded away."

You just nodded as you kept your head down, not wanting her to see the tears that were falling from your eyes.

"I've tried to pretend for a while now because I didn't want to hurt you but I can't anymore. I don't want to be affectionate anymore, I don't want to be with you."

"Wow." You quietly said. "Thanks for being honest... and very kind about it too."

She scoffed as you stood up.

"Do you want me to keep lying and pretending?"

"Of course not!" You shouted as you looked at her. "But you say you care and I feel the opposite when your words are so harsh and heartbreaking."

She sighed and lowered her head.

"So how long have you been pretending? How long has it been since you ran out of love for me?"

"A few months, at least."

You nodded before you grabbed your bag from the closet and started to toss your clothes into it.

"Where are you going to go at this time of night?"

"Anywhere that I can. This is too much and too painful for me. I just can't do it."

She pushed the blankets off of her and went to get up to come over to you but you stopped her before she got the chance.

"Don't!"

She put her hands up slightly.

"Please. Just don't."

"You're telling me that you haven't felt that spark fade away, Y/N?"

"No, Haewon, I haven't. I actually still love you! I have from day one and I always will and I'm so angry about that!"

You exhaled heavily as the words left your lips and the tears just kept falling.

"Three years, Haewon. While you've been pretending and lying to me, you've also been talking about the future with me when the conversation came up. You just let me go on and on while you ran out of love for me months ago! I'm so pissed at you that I don't even want to look at you!"

You finish packing your clothes before grabbing your toothbrush and toothpaste as well as your other necessities such as your phone, charger, wallet, and your keys.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You could've told me sooner if that's what you were trying to avoid. I understand that people sometimes fall out of love, that happens! But you couldn't tell me for months. While I was thinking that we'd grow old together and have a family someday."

She knew you were right and her heart ached.

You made your way to the bedroom door but before you could walk out, Haewon spoke.

"You'll find someone else." She whispered, just loud enough for you to hear.

"I don't know." You sniffled as you turned to look at her. "I truly don't know, Haewon. You might've been able to fall out of love with me but I never will with you. And as much as I wish I could, in my heart, I know I'll never be able to hate you for that."

You walked away before she could say another word, both of you knowing that things had been over between you for a while now if that's how she's been feeling all this time.

But it still hurt you both as you left, knowing that this was it and you'd never see her again.