Not all parents love their children / Clorscha

Chapter 7

A few days passed since the incident. Clodagh tried to talk it over with Sorscha a few times. She was afraid that such a thing would happen again.

But Sorscha deflected the conversation each time. She was so ashamed of what had happened. She didn't want to talk or think about it.

That's why today's meeting made her all the more uncomfortable. She didn't want to face Winter.

But he and Autumn had asked to meet up and as it was a nice day, they all decided to go for a walk in the park together.

Clodagh and Autumn walked ahead.

Clodagh pushed the stroller in front of her.

Sorscha and Winter walked behind them. The two remained silent.

Sorscha had to keep looking over to him. His cheek was still blue.

"Sorscha, you have nothing to be ashamed of..." said Winter, now looking at her.

" That shouldn't have happened.... But Terry's mum got me so upset...", Sorscha whispered.

"I know. But don't worry, we've taken care of her."

Sorscha stopped abruptly. " What has Autumn done? Is she all right? Does she still have all her body parts?"

Winter laughed a little. " No worries. My Love has decided to only use force in extreme emergencies. She's done something much better. " Winter dug his mobile phone out of his pocket and handed it to Sorscha.

The Nursery's Facebook page was open on the display.
Sorscha read the headline of the pinned post. 'How NOT to talk to people who have obvious injuries!'

Sorscha had to smirk slightly. " Oh she named and shamed."

Winter just nodded proudly. " And she's not allowed to bring or pick up Terry anymore."

Clodagh and Autumn were unaware of the conversation.

"I see you're using the blanket."

Clodagh laughed lightly. Autumn had given her a knitted blanket for Quinn after the birth. It was white and had pictures of orange maple leaves on it. The blanket now lay around Quinn as she slept peacefully.

Autumn continued talking. " How are you two doing?"

" It's still in Sorscha's bones, but she'll be fine..."

Autumn nodded slightly. " And you? How are you Clodagh..."

At first, Clodagh just wanted to say that she was fine. Just as she had been doing for the last few months. But the truth was different. And Clodagh knew that if anyone would understand, it would be Autumn.

"It's hard. All these years, it was Sorscha who held me up. But now I have to be strong for her. And I don't know how long I can do it..." A stone fell from her heart to have finally said it.

"You are a strong woman. You are both strong women. You will make it."

Clodagh nodded. There was something else that was bothering her. She knew she couldn't talk to Sorscha about it. But Autumn had experience with it.

"My mother will die of cancer soon... " she noticed Autumn's look. " I should be relieved. Even that my father killed himself. After everything they did to me. But.... Oh, I can't describe it..."

Autumn knew what she wanted to say.
" They're still your parents. And no matter what they do to you. Part of you always hopes that they will become better. It's perfectly normal for you to grieve. You don't grieve for them directly. But for what they could have been."

Clodagh looked at her sleeping daughter. Autumn was right. Of course she was right. She, too, had lost both her parents.

"I never thought I'd say this. But have you and Sorscha thought about therapy?"

Clodagh looked at her in surprise. " Mrs Autumn Knight! I would have expected that from anyone. But not from you!"

Autumn couldn't help but roll her eyes.

" It really helped me after my miscarriage... Think about it. And talk to Sorscha."

Clodagh had just put Quinn to bed. She came back into the living room and saw her wife on the sofa. Mobile phone in hand, she smiled slightly.

"What are you reading?" Clodagh asked. She joined her on the sofa and rested her head on Sorscha's lap.

" The Facebook comments under Autumn's post. People are ripping Terry's mum to shreds."

Clodagh watched her wife. She stroked her fingers across Sorscha's jaw.

"I've missed this..." she whispered.

Sorscha looked at her questioningly.

" Your smile... You have the most beautiful smile in the world. "

" Is that so?" asked Sorscha, leaning down and kissing her wife.

" Yes, that was the first thing I saw about you back then..."

Sorscha burst out laughing. "Back when you had your notebook moment at school? And ran right into the door? "

Clodagh's face turned red. " Sorscha!"

But she had to keep on teasing. " I had you right there with my winning smile. Or was it the tight sports trousers I always wore when I played soccer?"

Clodagh straightened up. "So that's the game you want to play? All right, then. I remember very well the first time I was in your room. Your parents weren't home. We were all alone..." she leant forwards towards her. Sorscha's face turned red. "And you were so nervous that you kept stuttering. And then you didn't manage to undo my bra. Because you were shaking so much...."

She let her lips stroke on Sorscha's cheek.

"And then when you finally were able to get it of. You looked at me and cried with joy..."

Sorscha's face was now completely red and she shifted nervously on the sofa. "Well...... we were young..... you were my first girlfriend....."

Clodagh had to laugh. " You're so sweet. But let me tell you something. You think you've got me in the palm of your hand. But darling, I had you wrapped around my finger from the very first moment..."

Clodagh put her hand on her chest and gave her a long and intense kiss.

But she noticed how Sorscha pulled back a little.

"Are you ok, darling?" she asked worriedly.

"Um, yes, only tired...."

Clodagh raised her eyebrow. " You usually take every chance."

Sorscha looked at her. There was something in her eyes. Fear.

"What's wrong?" Clodagh asked worriedly.

" What.... if I get a flashback..... I don't want to hurt you..." whispered Sorscha.

Clodagh put her hand on her wife's cheek. " Darling, we don't have to rush things ok. We can just cuddle..."

Sorscha nodded. " I would prefer that..."

Clodagh laid her head back on her wife's lap. She took her arm and put it around her.